Wednesday, February 05, 2003

On a Side Note.....

Well i tried typing this little update a couple minutes ago, then my "H" key went bezerk, and i lost what what i was blogging about, damn. So i'm gonna wrap things up quickly before i go to work at Target tonght, need to get some sleep you know. I plan on blogging about my little trip down to Terre Haute over this weekend to visit Vince, that will be done later when I have some time, thoguh it seems that wheneve i have some free time it's been dedicated to getting in touch with Brooke, or reaching out to Brooke, or seeing her, or having her bring back that loving feeling.....Well if you don't know, Brooke has said she loves me, as a friend, but is no longer in love with me, and thus just wants to be friends, indefinatly. I am in the process of seeing actually what went wrong, but whenever i do it just upsets her, she gets aggitated with me, and i don't want her mad at me for any reason. There's just sometimes i need things explained to me as if i were three. I just want to set things straight, see what happened. She tells me to stopp feeling bad for myself, and I'm pushing her away, I'm starting to see how that's true, but i just love her ever so much. I know my lovely Brooke and I have gone through our share of fights and tribualtions, but as of late it seems as if this is the final goodbye, bad things have been spewing from the depths of evil. I regret ever taking her love for granted, i'm a fool, and I'm sooo sorry for it. If there's a moral to be learned from this it's never take anything for granted, anything. But of course, kost people like myself tend to only learn not from teachings and sayings, but experience. on one end it's been a good learning experience, but on the other, i do't want to loose her. Everyone knows she's my everything, and at times when it seemed as if she wasn't, you were taking it for granted.I don't know what to do, i want to offer her everything possible. If space is what she needs, well then, just let me know, but the uncertainity of us is killing me. I want there to be "us" agian, i'm willing to do anything. I know i am probably talking in circles now, i'm professing everything to my blog, and didn't intend to do so. If anyone has any insight on this matter at hand, please let me know. I will listen to anything, thoguh i will probably only act on what i want to hear. I want to be there for her soo much, more than as a friend, but as her other half. I don't know what was done or said, but i just wish i could be her's agian. I'm sorry Brooke, i can't make you fall in love with me, only your heart can do that, and i know where my heart is at. i'm sorry for ever making you think differently about us. I am madly in love with Brooke, whether she be my friend or my love, there's nothing else to say, other than i still have faith in us........***walking away head hung, crying***

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