Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Dear God,

Hey yo it's me...umm, I'm not sure really how to do this, but I'm giving it a shot in the dark. And I know we haven't gotten along in the past, but here I am telling my secrets to the one person you're not supposed to tell your secrets to...(that's kinda a joke..it's from a great movie, I think you should get it....) Well, let me say Happy Eary Birthday to your son, though he's really you and you are him, so happy birthday to both..whatever...yeah and another thing is, we celerate it December 25th, yet we all know that wasn't the date of the birth, wired, but yeah.....so they say this is the greatest time of the year, and yeah I agree with them, I like the holiday season, the hustle and bustle of the crowds, people asking for world peace, it's all good..but isn't it a little too funny, some sort of wired irony for you, but this season is also the highest time for suicides, kinda makes you wonder about things...never mind that statement....

well they also say you work in mysterious ways, yeah I defiantly see that one coming through...but isn't that statement in itself a cop out resposnse...I mean look at it this way God, we here on earth can't explain why you allow for such horrible things to happen to people who "don't" deserve it so we just say you work in mysterious ways, and that all will prevail in the end, good things come to those who wait..but I don't know if you realize this, our generation hates waiting, look around, you'll see signs of the McDonaldization of the world, it's craziness. Alright, example, pretty simple one as well too, but sex: it has been said, that one must/should wait til marriage to have sex...this goes for several reasons, it's about love and a bound and yadda yadda yadda, another time another place..and I agree, well used to agree with it, now, now I could give less of a rat's ass about it, I used to be a fantasy virgin, it was something special, but it's all hopeless, I don't see any reason to wait anymore....now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm going to go out and have sex right now, I don't care to, but I sure as hell know better than to wait it out til marriage..I mean look at it, the odds of me loosing my virginity to my virgin wife are as good as me winning the lottery, twice...it's all foolish to try to have those ideals now-a-days, ask around, you'll find people fucking for any reason, any where, with anyone, just because....you see, they are tired of waiting, they figure why not just get it now, why should they wait to have this pleasure when they can get it now at no risk/charge/loss..waiting's the hardest part, but just why are we waiting? I think everyone has lost that reason, and all you see around you is a chaotic state society is in...but what can you do..well I think it is about time for another flood, but that's the old you, you're not as wrathful as you used to be, you got soft on us man..come on smite some people.....

so yeah, everyone gets what they deserve..in the end, whenever that may be, also you never make us bear more than we can handle..I've heard that before and I think it's a crock of shit...ohh and you know it too, I mean if people weren't pushed over the edge like they are by all the shit they face in a lifetime, they wouldn't snap correct? some people deal with things different ways, but when it's too much to handle, they burst..they go off the deep end, whether they go crazy, kill people or commit some other crime, or just take their own life...now that sounds like too much to bear to me. you must know what are limits are, I mean you are the great Creator, so then why would you have us take on more than we should, what does it prove, is it some sick game for your enjoyment, and at who's expense? Alright, here'sa situation, though not good, but made up on the spot, deal with it....you're an employer and you have people working for you and you tell them that if they keep their loyalty towards you, no matter what happens, they will justly be rewarded with something as great as heaven could be as a reward...you tell them they can't buy any products from the competion, they oblige, so then you raise prices on your items, and reduce their pay...you start taking away more and more of their benefits and hell, you rape and murder their wives...do you think they are still going to work for you? not in any dimension of the universe I'd ever want to be aprt of. I mean that end reward would have to mighty grand to put up with all that shit....

so what's this all about God, well I'm asking the same question...you see, I'm in this little rut here, whether you or myself got me here, things aren't getting better. I'm barely above water, if you count the top of my head, and I guarantee by January 2004 if things continue to go like they are, I will be completely sumerged. so from there what, well as I just said I give myself only a month to "keep afloat", or stay alive in other words. now I'm not asking for the moon, there's nothing there, but maybe just for some direction, lord knows I need that..whoops..I mean, yeah....I need something here, I can't last much longer....they say everybody has a purpose, can that actually be true..or maybe I'm thinking it a little more graniose...I suppose someone's purpose could vary from something large like being president to something crappy as being a bum on the streets..I guess it's the chaos theory for ya...but I, like a majority of the people, want something big from my life, I want to make a difference somehow, I want something..honestly what am I here for, what is my purpose, or am I just supposed to besome worthless statistic?


(no no, not Jesus Christ...come on, it's funny....)

P.S. I have a friend who wants to play you in Poy Poy for a battle for the universe..I don't have any crazy requests like that, I know I'm going to hell ( if this isn't already it..), but I could ask you one question, and if you weren't able to answer I would have the right shoe, and I'll even give you a headstart on your response, so you got a month to answer me this, "Why?"

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