Thursday, January 15, 2004

Thankfully The Finale....
Part Three: a three parter in itself

So now I come to a close with this random garbage..oh, and if you start to read this first, for it is the first post you will come onto, please start at the first one and read from there on...Although, unlike most trilogies, you can read these in any order, or just one of them, and still get what I am talking about, nothing is hinged upon the previous post like so many of my moves are made...but then again, if you read in the correct order you will see the full spectrum and new lights will be shed on to what I am saying..Anyways...

Story One: One Fall, or maybe Spring, I want to say fall though...but it could have well been during the summer..oh who knows, it's not important...Anyways, my mother took me camping to Southern Indiana, to tell you the truth I don't understand what her purpose was for any of this, we went camping a lot, when I mean a lot I don't mean to the extreme a lot should be, but it's more than any other person has probably gone camping. But we camped, state parks and the such, and of course we went to caves (again my mother had some thing where she took me to all these different caves, by the age of twelve I was able to tell you every little thing about a damn cave/cavern/hole in the ground/etc....) Well we spent the weekend down South, it was always fun, it was nice to be doing different things..But the point I'm getting at is the car ride home, I didn't know roads from a hole in the ground anything, so I had no idea where I was at or where I was going, never did in life honestly..But we had been having car problems..I remember my grandpa reminding my mother to check the oil or coolant because it was leaking or something, whatever, the car was having it's share of problems...Well the car brokedown and it was the middle of the night, and my mother started to walk to the nearest town...Of course you all know how Indiana roads are...Well somebody picked her up and she came back got me and we went to the nearest town, which was right down the road. The guy brought us to the police station and there we called my grandpa to get us..but those details are al irrelevant, that weird irony of this story lies in what town we happened to breakdown by..yeah we were traveling up good ol 41 and were only a half hour from home...You guessed it, the town we were brought into was in fact Lowell.....

Story Two: I'm deranged some might say, and these flighty thoughts of "if I didn't live here" only prove it more..and it's not just recently I've had these thoughts or similar ones, it's been going on for years..Take this example of weirdness...One day I got to thinking (yeah not a good thing) but what if I were to wake up in a Twilight Zone-esque type world, where my life was different, I was a different person, my friends were different, my life was different, everybody I knew no didn't know me, I was changed all was different..Oh and the timeframe for this idea was my senior year in highschool mind you...So yeah I wake up and the world is different, I must have been watching too much TV or something, but anyways, I thought about things and then called up Brooke and asked, "what's the one thing I could tell you, that only you and I know?" and then of course I went through the scenario..You see, I was so in love with her then that in waking up in the twilight zone world, for me to get my life back to what I once knew it, the first thing on my mind was getting back with her..I mean picture it, you wake up not knowing anything is different, go to give someone a call, and they're like who is this? Now imagine it's your bf/gf....so my answer to this little dilemma, to prove that there was this fourth dimensional parallel wherein we were in fact dating or something like that, I had to tell her something only she (and I in the other world) would know about...I don't ever remember getting a response, most likely I got, "that's a little too fucked up for me" of course those are my words...but you see my point....

Story Three: So if you're online, more than likely you also have some sort of messenger loaded up with it, whether it be ICQ (what is this, 1999?), MSN (yeah if you like talking to freaks who want to see your webcam..), mIRC (now that is old school..), AIM (yeah, most likely..) or Trillion (badass indeed) and you have your buddy list, and on your list there are those contacts you have no idea how they got there, or who they are, what they are doing, or where they arefrom, but they are there, and you won't remove them off. Maybe you once talked to them, or they messaged you first, you added them and that was it, but they are still there, funny huh...Ever see someone get online and wonder what they are doing, what they were doing before they got online, wonder what impulsed them to get online, maybe I just think about you too much, but I just think it's funny to see all these people online...And if you are online as much as me, you start [picking up their habits, like the regulars that are always online, the ones that are always away (normally with lame away messages..) those who are away without away messages, those who don't go idle yet aren't there, the once a dayers, the once a weekers. And you know it's some sort of break when certain people go offline and stay offline (kendall's offline, UofI has break....Courntey has just signed off, Ball State is out...etc...) I wonder what is on their desktops, if they are listening to music, and if so what, on what (preferably winamp lest you be some loser..) what their online habits are, checking mail, read some blogs, nobody is online, away message...I know this sounds weird and stalkerish, but it's the sociology of it all I am intrigued about. People personalize the hell out of their little demon boxes, what with their winamp skins, desktop backgrounds, fonts, colors, everything..it's just really cool to see all that, and know the person, you get more of a feel for them, I don't know..This wasn't a story now was it..hmmm, I'll fix that..

I sit at my computer, hacking up a blog or two, and you come online, I'm aware of this by the cash register noises playing over whatever is enqueued in winamp. I sit idle as I hide behind my away message. You're there, in some sort of way. In a flash and for a split second I can picture you in front of your computer overlooking everyone that is online and I'm overcome with something, some emotion...I want to message you, but know it would just ruin the moment, whatever the moment may consist of I'll be my own undoing and stay put. For that moment you are online, I just sit there, no more hacking, just sitting there contemplating, wondering. You put up an away message, some sort of insight as to how you are for lack of my communication skills. And just as quickly as you appear, you sign offline..and in most cases, it's usually just as I start to type something to you, funny how it spins like that. I wonder....then it's back to all that is unimportant....

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