Wednesday, January 07, 2004

What A Difference A Day Makes....

Let me tell you a little story, it's a two parter, go figure....now we will be comparing last night and the night prior at Target....and here we go...

The other night I get to work and I was just happy as could be, good goff was I in a good mood, moreso than my normal self at target, this wasn't necessarily hyper, but I was definitely energized. Everybody was wondering what was going on, some were kinda scared, other told me to lay off the crack, or to share it/quit hogging it...yeah. There was even parts of the night when my fellow backroom employees asked me to yell at/say shity to some other people...normally I would have no problem doing this, but I told them I was in too good of a mood....though by 6am that one person they wanted me to yell at finally got to me after she got snippy with me and I said shit back, everyone rejoiced.

but yeah, I was going to make a post the other day about the events, how happy I was, this and that, but things just got away from me and I made several other posts yesterday, so for that I am sorry...which brings us to tonight, total opposite of what was just said, though I wasn't angry, it was a depressive stupor....

I worked the line as my normal ting, but I found myself wandering away from it and ending up in random places, only to scurry back to the line where I was supposed to be...I don't know what came over me, but it was like I would wake up and realize I wasn't where I should be, it was weird indeed. I didn't say much, didn't hop around from side to side or go into the truck like I have been doing in the past weeks, I was to myself....And you know things are bad when the flow pallet pullers are asking what is up with me. I didn't work sluggishly, but I was definitely out of place, and everyone knew something was wrong, and of course I tried to play it off and say nothing..at first they asked if I was tired, should have went with that response...

so while on the line I questioned what brought on this depressing, this saddened state I was in for as far as I knew it, nothing really should have brought this on...so I figured it had to be a really late reaction to something else, and as I thought about that, it only made sense, and of course I thought about what was making me sad which only made things worse, but yeah, it had to be a delayed response to something that most certainly wielded that type of depression....

they took me to the warehouse to A) to caught up again (yeah like I said before, I'm the catch-up bitch) and 2) to help cheer me up. It was a good thing they did, it did help me take my mind off of things somehow, I would have thought it would only fester and build up there, but thankfully all the thoughts went suppressed away....I tell you though, it was hitting me pretty hard while I was on the line...I came close to two breakdowns and a panic attack as well add in the amnesia-esque fugue like wandering, I was probably losing my mind to some psychotic illness...

but whatever the case may be, I'm here now, the thoughts have been pushed back and forgotten, probably will haunt me in my upcoming dreams and will be back out when I awake, so until then, goodnight all

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