Thursday, March 04, 2004

Suppressed Anger....

Isn't it funny how the mind came store certain instances, certain memories and retain them, out of thousands of occurrences, it picks certain ones....Isn't it funny which scene my mind decided to pick when remembering you...hell, I don't even need to think of you really, it just kinda comes at random..That one instance..I think it was the second time we met..you gave me a slight hand gestured acknowledgement of condensation knowing something I didn't..you little prick..If I think back hard enough I can remember the first time we met, that handshake..I knew you weren't for any good, from one ass to another..We can sense these things, I knew you had no morals, if this were some old country and I had a position in the Mafia, you would have been executed for playing to close to home....And the third instance I can remember off the top of the shit is a walk-by....you didn't see me, but I saw you....you know I should have kicked your little prick ass when I had the chance..and given you the beating that belonged to that harlot as well....you deserved it..And now my mind haunts me with imagery of a time when the long knives were thrusted out the front...It's funny how the mind came remember certain things and replay them for you..whenever you want, whenever it wants to..slapping the tied-up man in the face..I suppose traumatic events are retained by the brain, it makes a scar, it will always be there whereas other memories just make impressions..The deeper the cut, the more likely it is to cause a scar..Now of course there's short term and long term..there's a line of grey area, but isn't that bad....what am I rambling about....honestly, I need to go back to bed, fuck these dreams....

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