Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Ha, Average...
..how does it feel to be nothing?

and by nothing I mean nothing important, nothing special, nothing at all because you're not making a difference, you're doing what everyone else is...are you having fun...good, so is everyone else, I'll live my life unlike any others and we'll see who gets rewarded in the end.

*update*

so she drops off the estimate....$300, yeah, I told her the body shop would want to re-paint the entire thing...well I didn't speak to her first hand when she drop this piece of shot off, rather Jessica did...so when I got home today I saw it, laughed then a couple minutes later Jess came down the stairs and was just going off..not on me, but because the bitch had an attitude with her, it was great, she was going to fight her for me...that sad sad girl, doesn't know what house she's messing with....we're all a little fucked up in the head..she started with a snowball...

anyways, I'm not going to do anything about it..no police report was even filed, so sucks to her ass-mar...she can burn in bloody hell

So I had a dream last night...funny thing too, since I was so (what's the word, is it stressed..worried...something-ed out) I couldn't sleep, but ended up crying myself to sleep, I think I can remember that....anyways, the dream was good for me...I mean I felt like an ass in it for the most part, but my subconscious knows the truth behind it all....though I know the dream exaggerated things a bit...she's not as innocent as it would appear, she is a deuce, but all in all it's ok..don't know if it makes me rest any better, but we will try...

today was a weird day...and it was a Tuesday, couldn't tell though...did I wear blue..I think so, anyways..I took a nap today, how off is that, probably explains why I am up now...

so plans...why did people ask if I was coming back for fall/winter/spring/summer break..I'm not a frickin' student, nor will I ever be...though at times I may miss the bitter wind gusts as you cross the diag amoungst the pretty buildings while trying not to step on the golden M..it's just not going to happen, it's not for me..I'm not one of those people....god, doesn't it suck to be average....maybe, maybe not, depends on who you ask...I really want to become a true vagabond, a rubber tramp, live like tom waits did...Cold Water

it's funny to think how behind I actually am with everything...it takes awhile for me to accept things, or become used to them...all the time silently hating it too

spiraling out of control...past that point, the breakdown has happened, this is just complete friction, grinding with no oil....basicallly there's no turning back....

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