Saturday, March 19, 2005

And It All Comes Crashing down...
..my existence is futile....

Can you believe, it's Saturday and I'm at here...to weep myself to sleep...

I got to sleep around 4ish last night..I was up on the phone for awhile, which is probably for the better since it was only one person I was talking to that night, when in reality there were several people that would have been dialed, and lord only knows what I would have said..so you can thank Amber for that....

I got to sleep in, not having to work til 4, which is a good thing, not only was I able to catch up on the missed sleep from this entire week, but I was asleep, and therefore not wallowing in self pity like I would be later....

work was horrible..all day I did not speak unless I was spoken to...I wouldn't even acknowledge people's existence, not on purpose, I was in my own little world, I really didn't notice people less they made an effort to come to me...I spaced out everyone and the background was just a blur to me..a blur hidden behind an every-now-and-then quasi-teary-eyed Jason. I was surprised, but only one person actually asked me what was wrong, that I seemed out of it (ok, there were a couple now that I think about it, but this one instance sticks out because I actually gave an answer...), so my response was something along the lines of, "I don't exist today..I'm just here to put my five hours in, that's all..but I'm not actually here.." I guess that's the nice way of saying you're dead to the world...

I did have a slight highlight, well two...towards the end of the night Jared found me and asked if I had a girlfriend, I scoffed...apparently one of the girls at the table last night at BDubs thought I was pretty attractive, and funny thing was Jared said knowing her and knowing who was going to show, he had an inclination she would be attracted to me, whatever that is supposed to mean..so I told him whatever, work something out, I don't care, play with it, whatever..so I guess we'll see where that goes, my money is on that I won't like her....

and the other highlight was at the end of the night, Brucer gave me her salad to eat, all because I said I wanted a tomatoe..and then I got a slice of pizza and random munchies off of Char's plate..free food rocks..and is probably the only thing that will keep me eating on this depressed fall-down..

I went home..I didn't go out, I actually don't think there was anything going on..I think everyone took a night off....well, tomorrow's Sunday, everybody should be returning back from the glorified Spring Break..and me, well...I don't know where I'll be for three days...











Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.....

No comments: