Saturday, May 14, 2005

Recovering...
from stupid things...

Yesterday was by far the worst, and only horrible, Friday the Thirteenth I've ever had..what's the fuck?

Work was completely stupid..I didn't want to be there...it wasn't busy at all, and there were four other bussers working that night as well..yay....so then towards the end of the night my foot starts killing me - it started getting bothersome towards the very end of the long walks in Chicago, but quickly went away as I got into the car and drove off...But tonight, pain..pain..I was literally walking around with a gimp - it was like I was doing a Tom impersonation..anyways, I asked Damion to let me leave before him, he was next in line, then it was my turn, the second to last to leave..I explained how I very rarely ask for favors and it's usually I who ends up staying for others..I also said this would be fair game since I have now had to stay longer for him on two separate occasions because he's a fucking spaz...well, you know what he said, no...because Friday nights were the only time he gets to spend with his wife...I instantly got pissed and made the announcement, from that day on - when I'm serving and he's bussing, I will not tip him out..and if he makes it to be a server, I will not help him out in an way shape or form, let alone take a table with him.

seems a little abrupt, but that's how I am starting to be..more and more jaded. all too often I have let things go on and on..people constantly taking advantage of me and my niceness - yes it's there..I can't say no to a sad/lame story. so three strikes, he's out..and I don't care how "good" of a busser he is..fuck off...I'm tired of people not paying me back for things I've done for them.....

so I came home, after 11, and just wanted to be alone...tired of people, tired of the house, roommates, people I work with, everyone..I haven't had good Jason alone time in a looong time..so I went home..started to clean to cleanse my mind, organized papers, mindnumbing tasks to put me at ease....after an hour or so passed I made my "check in" call to Mindy - well that's what I call it, but it's just a nightly thing either of us does when we get off our shifts..so to make her think nothing was up I broke my silence and made a call..she was over at a friend's house and wanted me to come over..they were all hanging out, drinking, and "watching" TV/movies - I say watching in light because it's on, and nobody is paying attention. I told her I didn't feel like being around other people...but she just couldn't get..and that's what set things off...

I tried to explain it for a little bit, but to no avail, she didn't want to beg, but whatever..so an hour later she has Kurtis call me, and I explain to him how I didn't want to go out..and he said there were people there who would lie my company, but yet again I tried explaining that my company in the current mood I was in would not be wanted. I'm not one to surround myself with people who want to see you to make me happy..I'll go to my cave and be just as happy, if not happier...

so then mindy gets on the phone, and we talk..and I try to make her understand..and we stayed on the phone for a couple hours, including her getting emotional, hanging up the phone with me randomly, and a bunch of other shit...I thought Brooke and I weren't together....well, it wasn't that extreme...anyways, it came out that I could have came over to the friend's place and took her home since she didn't have her car..but that was never said, she kept saying originally come over and play with us..not, well, if you don't want to hang out, come over, stay for two minutes, then take me home..because I can grant an exception to her (and a few others) where if I am in my "fuck the world" stage, I'll actually grant your presence...but I'm not going to say it will be good for me, if anything it will hinder the process seeings how there is still someone around when I actually want none..but whatever, it's fine...

and of course she argues that she didn't want to say that because if I didn't want to come out of my house to go to a party, why would I want to go out of my house to take someone home...I tried to explain saying I never like to leave the house..but there are different situations..to leave the house to go to a party, not going to happen..to go out of my house to help a friend or do a favor, more acceptable...

it just was really stupid..and she was drunk..and I was getting annoyed...whatever..lost my thought now that I got interrupted..good day












"Hmmmm, not so much?"

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