Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Worst Wednesday
Ever.

So you'd think, with me not working, a project finally completed that my day would be a day of rest and relaxation, but oh how that's never the case.

The day started out to be productive..I was cleaning up the place, putting things into place..then just after I broke some glass in my room Mindy called to tell me that the CD I made her stopped working after track 8..so I quickly made another copy and headed over..leaving the glass..

I got there after noonish, I stayed as she listened to the rest of the CD. She looked up the lyrics for all the songs while I was on my way over, something that wasn't supposed to happen, but I forgave her since the cd was ruined by the glue to hold the cd cover..

And then I just stayed with her..we hung out..went to Tortilla Flats with Will for our lunch, which wasn't that good...came back to her house, watched TV, then went to Target...

So everything has been fine up to this point, and I was actually thinking things would get back onto track with us, hanging out and all...and it gets better in my head when she says she doesn't really want to go out with her ritualistic Wednesday Half PriceIWine Gang..I'm thinking, awesome, I finally get to spend a night with her like old times, maybe we can work out the rest of the kinks and it'll be clear sailing....

So she calls, tells them she doesn't feel like going out, but then in some twist of events they tell her they are coming to pick her up..and she decides to go..as do I. she gets off the phone and tells me she's going..I pull out my keys and tell her I'm going as well..she thinks it is a little sudden and I just straight out tell her there's nothing left for me here...at no point did she ever invite me out to the wine thing, and I felt cheated by this..this stealing of my night with her...

So I peal out (though not really peal out, my car is incapable of doing so since it now has the "right" power system in it..) So I get home, slightly in tears, holdinI back as much as I can..I peak into Elizabeth's room and I notice she's crying as well...so I walk in to get her attention, proceed to chuckle as I state how I liked the fact that we were both in the same kind of mood...I then call amber, who was also crying and then I realize just what a wonderfully rockin' Wednesday it really was..after all that settles I send a text message to mindy saying how I was a fool, and now upset..no reply..I'm thinking she can no longer receive text messages since she has yet replied to any that I have sent in the past couple of days..so an hour later I give a call..no answer.. and leave a message...

then I start drinking while watching High Fidelity..good choice huh...so 2:30 rolls around, no call, and my drunk ass decides to call her and see what the hell is up...she's still out but just about to head home...and she drank, which in the grand scheme of things pissed me off more, seeings how she said she didn't want to drink..but then she did..and I was unable to control any rational emotions in the state I was in..laying on the floor of my closet...

So she gets home and calls me, whether she had intentions on calling me that night or not before I called I'll never know. I wanted to talk in person, which I really didn't want to go to her for..me thinking on the right side for once...and she doesn't drive after one alcoholic beverage, even though she was fine to drive, that's her rule....anyways, I couldn't let her know of the state I was in, so I just usedIsome other excuses, which by all means were true..I was dressed for bed, and was in bed, and had to make sure my roommate was up at seven seeings how she passed out on the living room floor without an alarm...

So I finally crack and tell her we need talk, whether on the phone or not, we just have to..so we did..and it was retarded.

I'll throw out some stupid fucking cliche lines such as "I just want to be friends" "I think that's all we can be" "I still want to hang out with you" "please I don't want this to be awkward at work" and so forth...

And just as I am stunned by all this, trying to "sell" this relationship to her (in my mind that is) she decides after a little bit to finish this tomorrow...this coming after I tell her I'm not coming into work because I don't want to see her, I can't handle this all right now, how we never even gave the "relationship" a chance, it's not going to work out, yadda yadda yadda...

I was too worked up to go to sleep, yet too alcohol settled complacentence to go for a walk...I just laid in bed til the final restlessness was kicked out of me and I went to sleep...

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