Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Emotionally Unstable...
..the last peak

After Wednesday, everything is down hill, right, it is hump day..how can it go up?

So today was a fun packed day full of..packing..which was fun? Whatever..I worked a double today, this morning as a server and the night as a host..well as it turns out the person I was in host shoes for was scheduled to greet, my favorite ting in the world, and sadly I am not joking..so I decided to have a little bit more fun with it..while on my hour break Mindy and I ate at her place..and during our pre-dinner meal I figured I'd have a little drinky-drink..to make hosting even more fun...

so I got to work just a little bit late, somehow..and I found that Drapper and Elizabeth were eating at a table in Danzante...so instead of taking post at the door I sat with them..and talked..Dreamy was ironically enough sitting at a table just behind them..and that s*t Kathleen was also somewhere to be found in the restaurant. whatever, so I stayed, ate half of the Tiramisu and had a god time, getting paid a little over two dollars in the process.

***

after work I went over to mindy's so we could talk..and as the night grew on I realized I needed to get going..I asked her to join me in the night's festivities, but that was a bad move on my part...for you see, I waited too long to ask her, so by the time I was ready to walk out the door I felt obligated to ask her if she wanted to come too..well she didn't have enough time to get ready, and out of pure spite towards me not asking her sooner, she said she didn't want to come..which started a whole nother argument...

and we talked, and talked..I kept getting calls from everyone asking me either A where I was at, or 2, where everyone else was at...by midnight I had enough with everything and started to walk out the door...but I didn't..and then it happened...

we were talking about everything and I just broke down..I was holding back any tears that were forming during this entire time, from when I first got there til now..but then a crack formed, and the dam gave way..it was horrible, I was hyperventilating..and the worst part was I still refrained from letting it go further..I cried for a bit, but I stopped it short....you can only hold on for so long before everything eventually gives way..then you just pick up the pieces and rebuild that wall...

never made it out, never got to say goodbye to Isabelle, or wish her good luck, and never got to pick up any hotties from chili's....












"*Sobbing*I'm sorry"

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