Monday, January 09, 2006

Today's the Day...
..it all comes to a close...

so I said something would end in '06, maybe I found it already..along with a revival of sorts...

So work was work..I made a nice amount of money, all on horrible tips though..but the main focus was on my state of mind from the day prior...I woke up angry and just continued to become more and more angrier...there was one point where I calmed down, but only because I had worn myself out, so I wasn't really calm I was just fatigued and wanted to lie down, curl up into a ball, and die (or kill someone)..but it soon came back, an hour or so before I got to leave work..

I left, on a note that seemed all too familiar...I made a very cutting sarcastic comment to/about/intended for Mindy that just went straight to the core of her..she felt the sting of the burn - and me in my all-assness mood simply replied the tables have turned yet again, I was mean to you from April to June (which she in fact stated only twelve hours prior), she was mean to me from that point til December, and now it's back to me as good ol me..she didn't like that and we kinda left on a sour note...

back home I tried to pull it together, just calm down, but not lie down..I may have been tired but I wanted/needed to do things? Well I'll be blunt, I never did anything really..did make a random trip to Best Buy in hopes to purchase DDR Extreme 2 with my newly acquired gift exchanged gift cards, but they were out, and would be out for quite some time...so I looked around at the DVDs for an extended period of time..but I do not like to purchase DVDs outside of my DVD club..for you see with my DVD I get little cash back bonuses I can use to basically get movies for free..so I made a mental list of movies I would like to purchase from my club if they so had them available, if not Best Buy it is...

made a stop at the bank and found a new delicatessen nearby as well...at home I spent the better part of the night watching the rest of Season to Arrested Development and doing nothing online...

it was late in the evening, however, when I reached my moment of brilliance..I was Wrong...no no, not about the whole A&E thing, I'm right on about that...but I was wrong about my regards and expectations for '06. We were so quick to come up with the phrase "None of that in '06", which only sparked the Development of my feelings to emotions, getting mad, depressed, feeling lonely, all would be different in '06..no more hating people, no more drama..such high expectations would only result in failure, which is why I among my commoners fail in my eyes..I often put expectations too high on people...thinking people won't betray you, won't backstab you, won't show emotion of flightyness saying "look at me look at me"..for that I was wrong too...













It is inevitable to be drawn back into human drama.

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