Monday, February 20, 2006

The Hits Just Keep on Coming..
Mondays are still #1...

The faith in the rally pulls through once again.

The dreaded Monday morning..actually not so much dreaded, just a precursor to the amazing events that will take forth that evening, like a crappy opening band that you have to sit through in order to retain the great seats for general admission to see one of your favorite bands..but this Monday was a little different...for whatever reason I was scheduled as a split, aka two shifts, aka I'd be working that night.

and with the curse of the split I had only two tables in the morning, pulling in a whopping twelve dollars. during my break I made it home to tidy up, do random chores, and fax in my UofM re-admission application...then back to work...

back at work, when Doug saw me and put two and two together, the fact I was working a night shift, and it was Monday..he immediately felt bad...and he made cuts as quick as possible..I did have a couple more than two tables for the night, but I think almost every one of them wanted the damned Bueno Festa Song..

so I was cut , my tables were just wrapping up and I headed on over to the Weed right on time at 8 just as if nothing had ever threatened it. I wasn't sure how big of an event it was going to be for tonight, a lot of people either weren't feeling up to it, or I left at the OG with closing shifts, so I asked only for a booth..they were all surprised.

soon after my arrival Matt B showed up...followed by Rachann, Patty, and Charlene..the five of us rocked our for the remainder of the night, with Laurissa showing up right at last call. I was actually hungry and decided to order food...I think I ordered the same exact dish as I did the first time Isabelle and myself went there, that one time when Rachel rocked our world...

From Tumbleweed it was on to Comedy Caravan at Bear's. alright, now I will be first to admit that I never really ever wanted to go to this comedy caravan..maybe a slight inklingly once in awhile, but the mere thought of the horrendous jokes and non-humor that would be thrown out at a drunken college audience who want to hear fart jokes never sounded too appealing to me...but I went.

we cam in on the middle of this one comedians act, and it was actually pretty good..I remember char yelling out to him that she was going to mary him...foreshadowing...and following him was the headliner, this 50 year old man...who took awhile to warm up to for his use of profanities I felt was for more of a shock value than anything worth meaning. but from what we saw from those two comedians, it was a blast. after the show we sat for a little bit and were all talking, rachann almost giving me head at the table..and as patty and I are talking, turning our backs for virtually a minute, the place has thinned out and now rachann and Charlene are talking to those very two last comics we saw...

the older one split out of jonestwon while he could, but the first comedian, the one Charlene said she was going to marry, well, he wasn't so lucky. and so there we stood, well, there patty and I stood, watching this debauterious event take place..Charlene practicaly throwin herself at the guy..and then, as if it couldn't get any better..this creepy old guy walks up to rachann and starts talking to her..the line we heard was him mentioning how he was wearing his sister's there patty and I were, stuck in the middle with creepy sister sweater man to the left and Charlene wrapping her drunk legs around a very funny man to our we did what any couple of people would do in this situation..we added to the craziness and started to kiss...nobody saw it, and nobody would ever was awesome.

(For the record I would just like to state that yes it indeed was my idea to add the the irrationalities of the situation and start kissing the person standing next to me, However, it was only meant to be a kiss on the check for I didn't want to cross any boundaries with Patty, though ideally making out was the off-the-wall idea I had in my head to make the situation as complex as possible..and of course after it happened you got the shocked Jason trying to valididate the actions by stating he only was going for the cheek and getting the response of, "I know, but I gave you that instead"...)

So it was about that time when we decided to pull the now making a fool out of herself char from the helpless victim of a Hairy Bear - and this is where it gets tricky. like dealing with my baby rats, I had two mindless drunks both trying to go in opposite directions. rachann was parked by me and was quite a distance aways, and Charlene was right next to the I walked char to her car and quickly made the deduction she was not going to drive by any means. so I called patty over to take char to her house, I would follow and take patty the rest of the way home..and somehow rachann was going to fit in there as well....well, as I made my way to my car in hopes of finding a stumbling or passed out ontop one of the vehicles rachann, I found neither rachann nor her car there...great, I just let a drunk slip from my hands and onto the roads...

so I made a call to rachann asking her to call me as soon as she got this in order for me to know that everything was ok..I followed patty in char's car to char's place, dropped her off, and then proceeded to take patty the rest of the way home. we talked briefly in my car, me making the joke about how I didn't have to take her home right away, especially after the little kissing session. but she explained even though as much as she wants to, that the timing just isn't right at this moment (story of my love life) she's dealing with a lot of complicated situations from ex's to deaths in the family and she doesn't want to make matters worse by fooling around with me and in the end grow feelings and attatch herself to me...I then said messed up relationships is my specialty and all I know.

so I let her go and swung around to 37 to head home..and then I get the brilliant idea to test my car- you see, my car has been acting up lately, rather it's been sounding a little off to me, and I just wanted to test it up at high speeds to see if it could indeed make it on a long trip, such as one to the region that is past I go, get it up to 85 and start to bring it back down, rather coast, and all sounds good to me so for..then my radar detector goes off, and I hit the brakes a little just in case it's not going off because of the stores I am passing...and sure enough, in my rear view mirror I see the lights of a squad car in the I keep coasting until I make it to the 2nd street exit and I decide to pull over..and takes him a bit to get to me but he eventually does, and I'm calm as hell during all of this.

he comes up and asks me if I knew how fast I knew I was going and all that jazz, but it gets better with the following.. "What kind of plates are those?" - "Indiana" - "Indiana? I meant what kind of plates are those!" -"They are Native American plates in support of my Native American Heritage" - "Oh" and it even gets better with this "How's your record, when's the last time you got a ticket?" - "April 2nd 2004" - "For what?" - "Speeding, in a speedtrap" - "A speedtrap?" - "Yeah you know, one of those places that cops always sit because they know nobody actually does or in this case can do the speed limit, it was in St John, where it goes from a 55 to a 35 in a heartbeat right on a hill. Not only that but I was singled out of the pack because of my out-of-state plates, cars were passing me, but because I started out ahead of them at the light I'm speeding..and I would have been in court to contest it too, but I had to work and couldn't make it - logistically it was impossible for any of us to be speeding.." he came back to my car and told me that the speed I was going was worth a ticket (well duh, you told me it was I was doing 72 in a 55) but he was going to let me go with a warning..he never even questioned the alcohol smell on my breath...

so in light of those events I had to stop off at mindy's to tell her about it all and how I didn't get a ticket while I was "drunk" Boo-ya!

"If you can't Fuck & Drive, you can't Fuckin' Drive!"

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