Thursday, October 02, 2008

No Looking Back

Day by Day...
baby steps..

my phone is ringing. it's 9am, anybody who knows me knows not to call me before the time has reached double digits. through the tangled mess of covers and pillows i find which way is up and follow the sound of the Michigan fight song to locate my phone. it's "wrong number", not to be confused with "dont answer" or "who is this", all labels i have programmed into my phone for certain people. "Wrong Number" is not who you think it is, it's just what is says it is, a wrong number...see there's this elderly lady from the region who has a son, who's number is identical to mine..i've just been so fortunate to been having her call me for over a year now. in the past whenever i would miss the call i would return it later, it's a region number so it always weirded me out..well after awhile i realized i kept keeping the same person on the other side, and seeings how the calls only happened once a month, i could never remember the i took it upon myself to program it in my phone, so i could just ignore it in the future..

i fall back asleep only to wake three hours later...i don't get up and out of bed for another hour at least. no, i just lay there, all wrapped up in my blankets warmed from my body heat heat and refusal to move around. it may be in the fifties outside, but my A/C still cranks out cold air into my room. i only let the breeze pass over my face and occasionally my foot, it's a nice balance making me appreciate my bed, prolonging my departure from it. the light from the laptop casts a blue glow into the room, i start Pandora, and relax...this is my mediation.

i have nothing planned for the day, oh wait, shit, i forgot..i know i work at four, but i signed up for a tour that's going on of the new if i can only remember what time it starts..i text a few people..wait patiently..and there it is..230, meeting at work...coool, time to start moving around i guess.

i get ready, completing all the necessary S's, and head out, D300 in tow. once again i park in that lot i parked yesterday..always with the changing, well, not really, but whatever..i get to work and immediately get crap for the camera, one of my managers tries to tell me that i can't bring it in..i said if they don't let me in, it's one more reason to hate that team...the next thing they try to pull on me, they want me to wear one of the team's shirts..uh uh, no way..i am wearing my michigan jacket, plain and simple...through a lot of bickering and harassment, and some others not wearing the shirts either, i win

as we walk on over to the stadium it takes me back to grade school - i feel as if i am on some sort of field trip, the principal, teacher, and motherly chaperon are all here...matching shirts to show we are some sort of gang, walking through the city, holding hands as we cross the streets..ok, maybe not that much, but still.

the tour was nice, we got to run on the field, go into the locker rooms, i got plenty of pictures, only one of 140 i really liked, and i will play with later, but after the feild trip is was time to's 530 so i haven't missed anything of this i am sure.

i walk into work and one of my managers, scott, asks me if i want to take a cut...i really don't want to take the cut, but i did just get there, i could do some random things, upload pictures, i hesitate, and try to think things over....i walk by the floor map and do a double take, what's this...i'm in section one...for the second time this week? and it's actually supposed to me? this will mark the first time i've ever legitimately been in section one for a night shift - apparently Scott feels there's not enough rotation going around and is tired of seeing me on the patio or in the back dining room...he's not the only i go back up to scott and question why on earth would you ask the person in section one to go home, to quote Ryan Hill, what's up with that?

so i stay, and i work, and the night pretty much sucks...they fill the back dining room first, so i go on the back dock and eat Jimmy Johns for a good half hour or so...i get two deuces to get my night rolling...then i split a 9 top with the person next to me..and it's a shitty 9 top, salad entrees are you kidding me? so it's somewhere around 830 and i go into one of the private dining rooms right next to my section and chill. the party that had rented the room has already left, and the servers have already flipped it over, so it's a virtual ghost town in here. i sit and i chill..

i cozy on back into the dimly lit server station and hop onto the marble countertop - it's cold as marble keeps a seven degree difference in temperature than it's surroundings, if feels good to sit. a server wanting to check out comes in the room, most people would peek in, not even notice me in the back shadows and leave, but this guy, he comes right to me...apparently this is my normal hiding spot as he says, "i knew i'd find you here" nobody else hides there, so it must be just me, odd. I go to sign him out and we start up a conversation, this happened the other day as well when we were leaving..we talk about heavy shit in a very short time frame - he parallels hisself to me, i see some of the similarities.

whenever i tell people my girlfriend broke up with me because i am an asshole, i'd say 95% of the people don't believe it. they can't see me getting mad, being a jerk, coming off as an asshole, yet in reality..that's exactly what did it..granted i've never meant any harm, no foul play, it's just a very dry and sarcastic style i have - if you don't know that, then, well, i'm an asshole....but you figure the person i have spent the majority of my time with for over a year would know that, hell, people in the first five minutes can make that assumption..ah well, what can you do

as we are talking the host comes in, i've been sat a four top - how did she find me too? the server and i depart ways both acknowledging we need to catch a beer together some time..i go to my four top, they're a fun bunch..

"i don't have a rear view mirror in my car for a reason - it's not only how i drive, it's how i live"

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

im sure i am NO where in this blog dammit i helped your dumbass too!