Thursday, October 23, 2008

Washed My Hands

I'm not a pilot...
but i play one on TV

i've had enough of the retardedness from the ex this past week, i tell myself i've done everything i possible could have done, more than most people would have done, now it's time for me to clean my hands of this...i'm just gonna push it off onto someone that she still wants in her life..

i'm on my break from work and i'm back at my house. i review the names in my phone remembering that i deleted a lot of contacts about a month ago, around 100 of them...i kept the ex's but removed all of the ex's family member's numbers. the only person i would talk to was her father, he was the only one who liked me - the mother on the other hand, i should have laid her ass out with the back of my hand when she hit me, but i am a better person than that.

the only person i had left in a round about way was her uncle, the only reason why i had the ability to contact that person was because i still had CP's number..i hate to bother someone at work, but when that's all you got, that's all you got..and those who know the back story know how messed up me calling the uncle really is...but when something like this is going on, previous walls seem to seem insignificant in comparison.

i call and leave a message..i really don't think he'll just call me back unless i say it's in relation to the waste...i'm back at work, i sit at pre-shift, the entire thing before the managers tell me they have already cut me for the evening..cooool..a phone call before i headed out to my house and paid for parking would have been great, but, that's thinking ahead and not how they roll...i make one of the managers buy me a dinner for wasting my time, i mean honestly it's the least they could i am waiting for my food to come up, my phone's CP

i answer as i rush through the kitchen, round IRD, out the backdoors, and into the loading dock's the uncle, wanting to know what's up....i rant and ramble off everything...i talk and talk, keep telling more and more of the story..i pause, breath..i feel as if there should be some sort of interjection on his part, but ot avoid the awkward silence i keep rambling...he eventually tries to pull what i am saying together and asks's a fifteen minute phone call that ends on a relatively good note...he appreciates me coming to him and letting him know what was going on, he tell me he'll take it from there, though he's not sure where 'there' point exactly...i have done everything i could, and the ex's alleged suicide happened weeks ago...she needs help that i can't offer and no longer want it to weigh on my shoulders

it's the first time in a year i have talked to him, and it'll probably be the last time, funny how life works i am waiting for my food, i realize my phone going off, missed's the ex and she left a voicemail...she's asking me to quit calling her family and leave her alone...i'm blowing everything out of proportion and in reality she just wants it all to end, she wants her stuff back and be done with later i get a text basically summing all that up in a sentence....i knew that was going to happen, i knew if i said something it would blow up in my face, but what other option did i have...lame...i have tomorrow off, my conscience is clear...time for me to live my life and forget about the past...over to the crib on the southside...the plan for later this evening...the midnight release of Saw V...coool, another opportunity for me to be the fifth wheel..

i think Phil has caught on to my sarcastic apathy to the situation..he tries to make me feel needed, calling me his date and's cute, but i know better....i try getting people to go..two of my girls have to be at work at 6, another at 9..why are people so lame...well, at least i got to go to a movie....

"5 is a 6!"

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