Friday, April 24, 2009

To My RoommateS, Plural

i'm not your mother..
you're not a child..

oh, it's cool..don't worry about it..i'll take care of it....

This may be the first time in history i've ever uttered the words, "i am looking forward to November" - for those of you who know me and my relationship to that month know how extreme this situation may be. and the situation i am talking about is my current living condition. and the reason why i'm actually wishing november to come now is because our lease on this three bedroom hell will be over.

now granted, it isn't nearly as bad as the living arrangements back in the days of 412 - i at least have a room here. but the follies are just about the same - living with a bunch of kids who aren't ready to take on responsibilities yet.

we tried to set up a system to make things work, after things early on started to not do just that. we divided a few chores amoungst ourselves so one person was solely responsible for that one task. i am responsible for doing the dishes - the dishes that make their way into the sink - buying the necessary products to wash with, etc. i clean and put away. Gary is in charge of the trash, taking it out and buying the bags. And Phil, well..i guess he's only in charge of buying the milk now.

as i said, i am in charge of dishes...HOWEVER, that does not mean i am in charge of cleaning the entire kitchen, or cleaning up after the messes others make after cooking. Now i will say that when i run the dishwasher i will try to take the damp washcloth and run it over certain areas of the countertop and such...but i will not be accountable for the splatter of food from their attempts at cooking. on two occasions i have cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom - gone unnoticed mind you..those two occasions are also two more than anyone else has ever done.

the last time i cleaned i striped the stove top of the drip pan thingies...i soaked them, ran them through the dishwasher, then scrubbed them afterwards...taking off 95% of the crap that was on there..also cleaning underneath those in hopes that the house would stop smoking every time we turn on the stove or oven...i inform my roommates by showing them how clean the pans are now, wishing they would give recognition later when they cook, they could tell if they spilled something...well, i guess that was foolish of me...

so phil cooks something, makes a mess, naturally, on the stove top and in the drip pan....but not only does he not clean it after he cooks...not only does he not clean it after i remove the coils from the stovetop to bring notice to the problem, but he has the audacity to say to my face 'oh did i make that mess...yeah i was drunk when i cooked..' and still not clean it...

do these idiots not realize how A) foolish they sound, and 2) how childish they act?! I'm sorry your mother or maid or whomever cleaned up after you as a child no longer lives with you..i'm sorry you were given no responsibilities and not held accountable for chores growing up..but you're on your fucking own now...seriously, man up.

and then there has been the problem with the trash...gary, as stated before, is nothing more than a child - there's no hiding it. the trash will constantly fill, over fill, and sit there....eventually gary will pull the bag out of the trash and sit it next to the can but not reline the trash can itself, saying 'oh it's not full' then it will sit there, garbage now being thrown in the bagless trashcan, on the bag on the ground, and all around the ground....maybe then the trashbag will move over to the front door...where it will sit for another couple days....by then, another trashbag is about full..and the process starts all over again...

and as for the milk thing...well, it was originally milk and eggs...and phil thought he had the better end of the chore detail...but then down the road it magically changed to just milk as the phrase, "we never talked about or agreed on any of this" was uttered....really? so gary's been getting heat for the trash for no reason because it's technically not been his responsibility because we never technically talked about it? come on....

and then there's the issue of the power bill - i really don't want to mention the headache they had me going through but i will some other time, this is what the blog is for, right? anyways, my real gripe about the power is everybody else's hypocritical gripes about the power bill...Mr Go Green Gary wants to save the planet, goes out shopping and doesn't get plastic bags, buys energy efficient shit, things i could give two shits about...but the killer is, when he's home - and even sometimes when he isn't - every light in the house is on...the classic move is for him to be in the shower, listening to the radio, while the kitchen lights are on, the TV is on, and his room lights are on..this happens all the time..mostly without the shower part..he'll come home and turn everything on..it's absolutely ridiculous...

but the best is what phil does...he's concerned about the power we use and how much we spend, yet, YET he'll be the one to, every day, preheat the oven for 15 minutes, and cook 1 to 2 corndogs for another 15 minutes.....i don't want to repeat myself, so just read the absurdity again.....you read it correctly...not a whole pizza, not a whole box of corndogs, but 1-2...and like i said, it's almost every day...something so small and simple as corndogs that can easily be cooked in the microwave taking 1-2 minutes, sucks away at our power bill for no real reason...i'm sorry but corndogs aren't gourmet cooking, so just use that microwave for reals-or better yet, two words...toaster oven.

and i know we all have our quirks, i'm only hitting on their refusal to clean and maintain a livable environment...i know i'm not perfect, my big problem is i like the apartment to be clean, to be organized, to not be a shithole, to be guest-ready at any given moment...i want people to be responsible for themselves, i want people to care in essence..and that's my problem, i always care too much....

and as i finish this up i am sure to get the, "well why didn't you ever approach them/me/us" from someone..but you know what...again, it's not my fucking job to remind you to be responsible people...it's not my fucking job to clean up after you...it's not my fucking job to raise you...to not be so ignorant...to not to want to live in filth...to not use thirty cups a week instead of reusing them....to be respectful of others...it's not my fucking job, period.

see you in november...new place....










"i'm nobody's father...and i'm for damn sure i'm nobody's bro either.."

1 comment:

mynameishippo said...

Yeah, I had these exact problems with a roommate and his gf 2 or 3 years ago. After that year, Wes and I vowed to NEVER have roommates ever again. Spoiled people should not live with people who work for their stuff and understand responsibility. It causes ulcers and loss of hair...speaking of hair...we all know about my hair phobia...but my roommate and his gf decided that it would be awesome to leave hair in/on the shower, and ALL OVER the sink in the bathroom...if I'm not mistaken, the bathroom and kitchen should always be clean, apparently, I am wrong. I am sorry that you are having roommate problems jangus...are you staying in Indy after November? Are you moving down to Btown? or somewhere else? Have a good day, sorry this comment turned into a blog-esq comment.