Monday, May 18, 2009

Novelty, Idea

pogs, love,
friends, pets...

the novelty that is my life

Do you remember gigapets, or hypercolor clothing, or cabbage patch kids, or anything random you absolutely had to have at the time and it was all you ever wanted in life and maybe you still have it, locked away in a storage space, covered in other boxes or dust..and looking back you are all like, 'what was i thinking?" yeah, that's me.

i don't know what it is about me or my personality, but i have found that is has the same results time and time again. i am nothing more than a piece of novelty that people have in their life for a brief period of time. from friends to girlfriends, it's always the same reasoning - because i'm not the norm. what is it that makes me so different - is it my rebellious ways, the crazy energy, the sarcasm dripping off of every comment, the intellectual humor, the utter disregard for standard social norms? please, someone tell me...

one thing that i have found, when it comes to my friends, they have been envious of the lifestyle i have lived..i remember one spring many moons ago my friends were on break from college, they came back to their respective homelands and hung out with me...after a few nights they said they were having the most fun they've had all year, and asked if this is what i, and some of the regulars in my life, did every night...but of didn't seem out of place for me at the time, but looking back, i can kinda see why people were loving it and wanting more..

other friends have thanked me for the impact i have made on their lives, showing them you don't always have to take the same route every time...that they don't have to be so uptight when it comes to life and to laugh a lil...i honestly do not know what is it that i do, like i said, i'm still trying to figure half this shit out..

most of the time i find that friends will come into my circle because they so happened to have known someone already in the circle and with that initial experience want to keep up my lifestyle...only to fall short every time..people will try to roll with the jangus, but only few will be able to match it.

as for girlfriends..i think that group is the first they desire the 'crazy rambunctious guy' but when they realize it's not a front, that it is a constant, that i can not settle down, they go in one of two directions..either they will A) walk away knowing better, or 2) do what most girls do in any situation involving a guy, try to change him..Of course we all know how that works out on any guy, but given someone who is as stubborn as me and you got a battle where i'll never back down....

but the worst thing about this is all is the effects it has on me...once you start being treated like a novelty, once you start realizing you are just a novelty, you start making everything around you a novelty as well, thus propagating the circle even more..which, when happens, is just a snowball effect with no looking back.

take for example my residence or state of living for the past 8 years.....2 years in NWI, then 2 years in Btown, then 2 seasons in CP, and i'm about to approach on the 2 year mark here in indy....things that didn't last the two year mark, Hawai'i and UofM..funny how those are two of the things that i would take up on another venture....until that other year runs out more than likely, and than i'll be onto somewhere new...the terrible two's i calls it

can i stay in a place more than 2 years, on my own - since anything pre-18 doesn't really count...i don't know...i've never tried it, i've always bailed as the two year itch started in. and in all honesty it doesn't make a lick of sense to pack and leave after two years, because by that two year mark i've made my way through the city, know the in's and out's, what's good, who to get the hookups from, etc...i'm pretty much made by the second year, but i give it all up to start a be fresh meat somewhere else...why?

and because of my erratic living conditions, hopping from state to state, keeping a steady girlfriend is the last of my are forever, jangus is not. not until i settle down in a place, like really settle and be content with, am i ready to have a serious/steady relationship....granted, there have been girls to make me think it's almost possible, and i'll change my ways to follow them across the globe..but in the end, i know myself best and i grow weary of where i am and how i got there.

now this is just the beginning of me and my effects i have on people...i suppose i can start new label for this type of thing as it can almost be it's own little series...that's what my blog needs, groupings for the blogs, to depict what shit you are reading...i mean the categories do that, but you can break it down from things like quotes, or the different years, like the Bloo years, or the CP years...oh man...speaking of cp..the effects i had on people at cp, those are worth many stories...

"They have a popcorn machine, a gigantic telescope, a slot machine, and yet live in poverty - yeah with all of this impulse/novelty bullshit you'd think they'd own jangus by now"

1 comment:

Cynthia said...

Can I scratch your 2-yr itch?