Monday, February 22, 2010

I Feel a Blog Coming On..

oh wait..
..scratch that..

it's just another bloody headache

i should probably go ahead and forewarn you right now that this is more than likely going to be a bitchy post with no real positive outlook, like i'd want it to be. i blame this on the constant pain that has been going on in my head for over a week now. normally i get these mini-migraines once every 9 to 12 months they last about a week - and for that week i'm usually busy with work and i have to struggle through, actually taking pain killers and other medicine to avert the pain - the only time i ever use these things. i always have to go over the recommended dosage and that scares me. reason why i don't take pain killers or sleep aids is because my body gets used to them too quickly, and i know in time i'll eventually take so many that i'll overdose.

and with these headaches comes the catch twenty-two...i either am in enormous amounts of pain, or the opposite, no pain but no mind either. having the pain limits my functioning to where all i can do is close my eyes and hope i fall asleep....but when i'm awake and the pain has subsided for a moment, i can't think straight. my mind is cloudy. i can't concentrate. it's like as if every thought i start to make gets slammed into a brick wall at full speed.

it's been over a week now and it's driving me crazy. granted this is a perfect time for it to be happening, i'm only getting scheduled three days at work, but i have things to do in my off time..yet can't function like a normal human because of these headaches...i literally sit in my apartment..and sit..i'll pass out from the pain only to throw my entire sleep pattern off

i actually took a huge step today, i went outside - only because i was starving, but still that took me til after 5 to get moving. i tried to get my life back on track by going to the gym - i haven't been there in over a month with everything that has been going on, and i could definitely feel the results, or lack there of.

i don't think it was in my best interest to go to the gym because on any normal day going to the gym makes me get a headache and i feel like i just wanna throw up/ what does the guy who is battling a headache and feeling like shit do, does the one thing he knows will make him have a headache and feel like shit...well, maybe they would counteract one another..sorry, no.

i need to complete things through, finish what i start...just like going to the gym...i took a month off and i lost all the progress i had built up...i don't need a push to get me going, i need a kick in the ass when i'm halfway there. i've always said i'm just waiting on that big moment in my life where everything changes...

let's see, that one girl and i broke up and i started to blog again..but that didn't last for best friend passed away and i..didn't do anything differently...always looking for an excuse, always looking for a way out

how does one get a blister under their toe nail? i didn't even know that was possible until yesterday - and let me tell you, it sucks.

i need to start writing again..i'll say that til the day i die. i don't even know what i'd write about...half the stuff isn't worth it, the other third i can't tell you (stupid doctor/patient confidentiality) so that's why you get nothing but dribble...

at least i'm trying? well, the road to hell is paved with good intentions...and trying only does so's like saying you would do something, but you have the ability to do it all along and you don't..there's always a technicality...

micheal phelps is one ugly is shaun white for that's awesome to know though that as long as you have a gold medal and can do "awesome" tricks, you'll be sexy...don't worry WoW players, eventually it'll be an Olympic sport and you'll cash in on all the fame like those losers..i mean honestly, half those "sports" in the Olympics are sports?!

ohhh that's right, i'm wrong, i'm ethnocentric...just because football isn't an olympic sport i have no idea what a real sport two one word...curling...i think i've proven my point here...

oh, and anyone can be a micheal phelps or shaun white, let's not immortalize people to the point we start worshiping them...that's how religions started

speaking of, i gave up cheese for lent...what a waste. what are you giving up?

"FU, Penguin"

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