Monday, March 15, 2010

The Beginning..

of some ends..
to a means..

Daddy, always said, "son.."...wait no, that's not it

"Jangus, everything is not a revolution", the one phrase that plays back like an annoying ad you see ay every commercial break. No it wasn't said by my father, rather it was an english teacher i had two years in high school; a phrase that i'll never forget and never be able to live down.

i know i've had to mention it on here before in some previous post as it always seems like a reoccurring theme in my life..the only advice i hold onto, yet, sadly can't do anything about. so i apologize in advance if now i've turned into the broken record.

they say we study history as to not repeat it, to learn from the past - funny, some of the biggest mistakes are made without any regard to past events. Being a history buff that i was back in the day i always like to make reference to WWII. In this situation i'd quote Hitler when he said, "where Napoleon failed, i will succeed" the irony is that that never happened and Hitler made the same mistakes Napoleon did, fighting a multiple front war.

is it just human ignorance that we disregard other's past failures, is it an ego boost of superhuman characteristic to think we can do what other's did not, or is it optimism at it's best - i know the latter with the positive note threw you off...

Whatever the case may be i'm going to be guilty of trying my hand at the same demise maker that is, fighting the multiple front war. combine that with the "everything IS a revolution mentality" and you'll see your forces stretched very, very thin.

they say when it rains it pours, and once again i feel as if i am fighting to keep myself dry with only a napkin. fighting every cause that arises with a piss and vinegar attitude all the while taking on new fights and arguments will quickly get you into a 'you versus the world' mentality.

that's about where i am headed right now.

but i know i have my support out there, it's just the front lines, or those in the closest proximity of your life, whether be it physically, emotionally, or destinationly, are always the ones you'll find that change sides and you end up fighting against.

over this weekend i've somehow managed to have declared war on three different fronts - and though those fronts are not at all surprising as they have all been something that have been in the making, it still comes as a when i say i have declared war it seems as if i am the one taking the initiative to attack, rather that is hardly the case here, if ever - which is why it always feels one against the world.

the problem with me is, if someone wants to fight, i'm more than likely going to fight back, and to my fullest extent. and with three fights picked in two days, it only fuels the" pack up and go" type of attitude that in the end only would cause more damage. of course each and every front on the opposing side doesn't know about the other fronts that are being fought - so when push comes to shove with me and one front, that one front gets the anger and onslaught not equivalent to just the one fight, but to all the fights combined. Again, it's like the breaking straw, the kid that snaps, the bottle that explodes; the end reaction isn't that constituting of one action, but many added up.

if "all's fair in love and war" i fight fair, but it's dirty. with revolution type of fights you're willing to do what it takes to change the tide - most people will fight just because they're bitches, i fight like there's a cause, something that actually matters on the line...this usually results in me doing "drastic measures" ultimately cutting off those other fronts high and dry. i'm an extremist, i know no mercy and will show none, i'll put everything on the line just to walk away with a "victory", even if it means losing everything in the process. my ego versus other's irrational attitudes. what happens when an immovable object meets an unstoppable force...they disappear and i move on...

this is just the prologue...and i'm the narrator?

"see, the thing about me is, i don't save any for the swim back.."

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