Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Turn, turn, turn

to everything..
there is a season..

a reason why i hate summer...

it's that time of the year again, inevitably so, that summer has come upon us. Most people will go with some archaic mythological belief that summer starts on (approximately) june 21st, or rather the "summer solstice" - those who are a little more educated will know this to be the day the earth stands still, well one of the two in a year.

for those living in the northern hemisphere we incorrectly and haphazardly call june 21st the first day of summer, as it has been dubbed the summer solstice...all that means is, hey, today is the longest day of the year, from here on out days will be getting shorter again...if anything how does that mark the beginning of summer, shouldn't it mark the beginning of fall, or the end of summer?

but no, we call it the beginning of summer based on some stupid beliefs we recklessly hold my opinion summer starts when those pools open, when it's ok to wear white again, when the temperature is conducive to turning on the air conditioning, when school is no longer is session...for some of those things that would sometime in may, maybe strectching towards memorial day at that...

maybe it's the turning over to a new month in a calendar, june 1st - that would make sense with all of the incoherant dribbling posts i've read over the past couple of days from people estatic for it to be june...*looks around the room* i'm sorry, di-did i miss something...does, or did, something crazy happen in june i am not aware of?

i can't say i have ever seen such overwhelming responses from the multitude of the idiots i claim to be friends with who were so jubilated with the turning over to june that they not only had to declare it in social media form, but with such uncertainty "couldn't believe june was already here!?"

at first glance i thought they were happy because it was june, but to me that just didn't seem naturally itried to offer any other explanation to make the masses less foolish...maybe somebody named June was appearing in concert, tv show was debuting, visiting, anything of the sort which just so coincidentally happened to occur on the new month, which just so happened to be june...yeah, no such luck

however this is not my sole reason for hating summer, rather it was a catalyst to remind me of how much i hate summer, and the reasoning still standing, because of idiots.

one strong factor is that the weather changes, for the better - so how can i hate that you ask...well it's not so much as the amazing weather i hate, but rather insomuch as to what it causes. people.

and you know, it's not even summer as a whole that i hate, it's the Midwestern mentality of what summer is and what it means. i'm sure that if i lived in a tropic climate such that of hawai'i or cali, or some other part of the dessert that this inexplicable behavior wouldn't take place...only in the god forsaken midwest. now yes those places mentioned do go through varying weather conditions and season changes, but to a far less degree than that of midwest and the like states - drastic changes in temperature where you can have weeks at over 100 degrees to weeks under 0 degrees all within the confines of 365 days...

so what is so wrong with the "Midwest mentality on summer", as i am calling it now, and the bringing out of people, just that. maybe to better understand my hatred towards summer it's best to start with why i like fall most of all. i'll be the first to say and admit that i hate colder temperatures, and if i could have it my way i'd prefer to live in a tropic climate mentioned much earlier. and even though i was born and raised off the lake of michigan in illinois i still hate the cold, and with each passing year that goes by i can handle it less and less. there is no conditioning and tolerance towards sub-freezing temperatures dissipates as you grow older just as quickly as the heat.

i'm not the only mid-westerner who feels this way - as much as we'd like to say how tough we are
as we battle through the conditions year in and out, we despise it...and as soon as the sun starts to lose it's shine and a gentle, cool breeze blows through we all scour with our tails in between our legs back indoors, killing the a/c and cranking up the heat, while frantically searching in our basements for our layers, scarfs, parkas, and's true, we're pussies who are prepared.

and that's what i like about fall, people, the general masses, running back inside - not polluting the streets with their cars, flooding parks, jogging about shirtless thinking they in the best shape of their life when all you really wanna do is yell at them like marky mark to put a damn shirt on...

and as much as i encourage people to live their life, to seize the day, and all that, this is not the time.

i hate how the warmer weather brings those people out, because it's a mentality that isn't right, that isn't good - these are the fair weather people we've all been talking about!...they come out in the fancy cars they only take out because the weather is perfect..people driving around in their convertibles with the tops down like they are gods gift of the roads..i hate people that are conditionally convenient bandwagon jumpers on life - people who will run and hide at the first sign of unfavorable conditions, but otherwise try to claim the land like they never floundered..

so it's not the warm weather directly that i dislike, rather i much enjoy a good summer's day on a patio sipping on a sugary concoction that's horribly dressed with colorful fruit and umbrellas wishing it could always be like this, wishing i were somewhere else. but it's the weather that brings out those assholes i could care less to see...those a-holes who, while i'm still on the patio drinking my drink in october, they've long gone to their resort homes or cruise-line vacations

i hate summer because i hate people...but only in the midwest....

"Cause I love to live so pleasantly
Live this life of luxury
Lazing on a sunny afternoon
In the summertime"

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