Thursday, October 21, 2010

It's Been a Minute..

Well, more than that
many minutes in fact..

and i don't know how many I got left in me...

I've been feeling...creative isn't the word i'm looking's an ansty, irritable, cannot focus kind of feeling. I've toyed with the ideas for short clips, writings, quotes, etc - and while I've actually made some of those things, i haven't done much with them. The most you get from me is a 140 character update via my twitter..maybe a status on facebook for something that really needs to be said, or a nonsensical rant with a picture explaining nothing from my dailybooth. As i did all three of those things today, the shorter only manifesting into the larger i realized...that i just needed to fucking sit down and write it out, old school style.

I've been watching Netflix religiously, mainly TV series because of their length...rather, their shortness. I feel a pick-me-up, break, or food feast is equivilant of the time it would take to watch one episode. So far i made it through six seasons of The Office, the first of Archer, and my most recent (and reason why I am writing this) Californication.

I stumbled across this show awhile back, but never made my move on it - it was on showtime and who the hell watches showtime, i thought all the good series shows were on HBO. Anyways, all that is available on demand is the first season, and that's all i watch - this mailing discs back shit is for the birds. Let me just add in, i love my netflix, and I only got it because its an iphone i watch on my iphone, my lappy, and off of my is grand

I continue, Californication is a show....that I'm not going to bother you with the synopsis of, long story short, it has made me want to start writing again. And as much as i know that i'm not talented enough to be published other for than that button in the bottom left hand corner, i enjoy it. While most of it is rubbish, i can always look back on my previous posts and claim brilliance. I know I'm not the next great american novelist, i've come to terms with that rather easily, and though my fan base is small in numbers, they care, which makes me care.

That being said I've neglected the people most important to me for far too long. I need to give to them what they want, what they need. This. Me hunting and pecking away at 4am on some random Wedne-Thursday morning. Typing away because i can't sleep. typing away because i think this will help. Typing away because i think someone gives a shit. Typing away like it matters. Typing away as if I am a sole survior in the universe, yet that universe relies on me.

We reap what we sow, we also write what we know...and the latter is what scares me most.

"Well, I don't know, but I've been told
You never slow down, you never grow old
I'm tired of screwin' up, tired of going down
Tired of myself, tired of this town

Oh, my my, oh, hell yes
Honey, put on that party dress
Buy me a drink, sing me a song
Take me as I come 'cause I can't stay long"

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