Friday, November 26, 2010


who says what
what says who

and everything else along the way

What do you do when actions and words do not no, not like when I say I'm dancing a marathon right not as I am obviously writing a blog, or wait, maybe that is what I am saying..even more confused now lol. All through life we get ourselves in situations where what we want and how we act are two totally different things, but why is that?

Take for example this past Thanksgiving, as everybody gathered around, there were certain uneasy feelings for some, right? Ok, I'll use myself here. As I sat in the living room with my family, hors d'oeuvre were being placed out onto the coffee table that was in the middle of us all. They at there, and sat there...I was starving not having eaten anything before I made the road trip up, but I just watched the food sit there, as did everyone else. As much as I wanted to dig in, I refrained. Now some people would call this being polite, but what the fuck does politesse have to do with this, they just served the food, obviously they want you to eat it...especially after dropping it off they say, "Dig in!"

Why do we feel it wrong to go with our gut feelings? Why do we let the influence of others be so strong, even if it's not actually there? Why cannot we not think, feel, and act on our own ambitions rather than second guessing them because of what someone else may say or think?

Now I know they say peer pressure is strong, but honestly, funk that noise. I'm gonna do what I think/feel/know is best for me....because if I don't, I'll miss out. As my uncle said, "if you're shy you'll go without" - I thought about that phrase for a minute out of context, it's true. People are shy because they are afraid of a non-real factor, something they concocted in their heads. if you don't act on something, you won't get that something.

I prefer to go with "Hesitation causes accidents" Somebody who is wishy-washy, can't make up their mind only causes harm to themselves and people around them. As much as they think it's best to "not do something", they will pause, and never give it a chance..they are missing out. You ever sit at a green light, watch that person in front of you try to make that left hand turn...they've had several (missed) opportunities...each time they pull out a little more but clam up and stop..and before you know it they light is turning red and then they gun it...yeah same situation here. Their hesitation has delayed you, and maybe even endangered lived...all because they couldn't make up their minds.

I respect my friends and my family and those around me on that certain level, but I won't let their voices get in my head and cause me to not do something. If you're going to question me about who I am dating, I appreciate your input but too bad, I've made MY choice, please accept that. If you're going to question my change of career, again, I appreciate your concerns, but this is on me, please be supportive.

(now i'm not saying every decision needs to be supported, I've bailed on plenty of people who have asked for my advice, taken it for the first three seconds, then went right back into the horrible situation..I don't need people like that in my life but that's a different blog)

You know I am all about challenging others, so I do welcome any opposition, but I'm just saying, it will more than likely not run it's course in my brain until after I've given it a shot. So you can sit there and be negative and say "did you just say i love you?" and I'll respond with I sure did. I do not need to sugar coat anything to my friends, and I will not apologize for my feelings or opinions.

I do not wish to be wreckless with people's hearts, as nobody should be wreckless with mine. This isn't Bridges to Babylon, I don't want you to say those words to me unless you do mean them, with conviction. Maybe it's just like when I don't give PDA to a girl in public, there's a reason for that.

I just want things to match up; if you say A, then show A. Fuck the nay-sayers. Just Love.

"Sweet lies. Baby baby dripping from your lips.."

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