Saturday, November 13, 2010


all I really want is..
...nope, not gonna say it

who the fuck have these people been?

Honestly, looking back at the bitches I've dated/had relations with, I'm only left to ask, why? How is it one of the most picky people in the world allows such fucktards to enter the bubble.

As I sat in a court room across from one of the most socially inept people I've ever met, I wondered, what the fuck was I doing with her? That little blurb right there should be a key give away for me to move onto someone else...socially awkward, not in the good sense, then how did I deal with that? And that's just the tip of the iceberg with that one...I could go into details about her looks and make me come across as shallow, but honestly - I'm one for natural beauty, and I made the mistake of catching this bitch in her natural state..I remember telling her to fix herself up and never letting me catch her again like that..

Yes I like looks, that's fucking natural people (unless you're blind), you use the senses you got..what looks better a lamborghini or a mini cooper (I swear to god if someone tries to defend a mini cooper I'm gonna explode) So naturally I am attracted to what my eye is attracted to, survival of the fittest, look it up. Now I will say that the stereotype that guys like blondes and yada yadda yadda does not really apply to I stated earlier, I like natural beauty...someone who doesn't need to cake on makeup, someone I can wake up in the morning next to and smile (ahhh, redemption)

I learned this awhile back ago, in fact, it was when I was at Michigan. I was dining with a group of friends at bursley hall, the cafeteria (best cafe food on campus) and a group of girls walked by to which my comrades starting commenting on. Everybody honed in on one girl in particular...the blonde. As everyone made their comments I kept silent...which was heard by the group prompting them to direct questions to me. I remember bits and pieces of my response, which I've used over the years since that moment, and even in the paragraph above mentioned it. "you see the blonde right, well the friend to her left, the one with the brown hair...she's the one i'd take" i get weird responses but go on to explain that she's naturally the better looking one, she's the one i could wake up to every morning and still see beauty and...i continued and by the time i was finished the guys all gave me an awww, assholes.

Regardless, I'm just trying to defend that i'm not as much of a prick as I may be coming off or you think I am.

Another girl had the looks, had the tits, but that was it. Sure eye candy is sweet on the eyes, there are many things that matter as well. If a girl is dumb, what's the fucking point? (at least in my opinions and my desires) If a girl tells me she never understands what I am saying because either A) I talk too fast or B) Uses big words that she doesn't understand I think we may have a winner, err, loser depending on how you look at it.

I'm asking for a girl who can keep up with conversation, offer her own input, has a mind of her own...but not be too smart...there's the get some bitch who thinks she's smart (like all women) who actually does have some brains, then you're dealing with a "perfect storm". A bitch who is smart only magnifies their bitchiness and I do not have time for that.

No intelligence, no social skills, high Ph levels, no morals, I mean I could go on for days about all the miscues the women I've been with have had, that I've foolishly let in but that would be a bummer. Is this all my fault? Do I love getting to know people, challenging them, pushing their limits, making them better so much that I lose myself along the way. In the process do I fall in love with these people because it's real, or because I believed in my own propaganda...or is it because love is a fictitious state of mind...

If BTTF has taught us anything, it's just that, love is some made up state of mind and you can fall in love with virtually anyone at any given time...and that really challenges the cliche valentine's day meaning of love. Soul mates? Nah, just whomever my daddy hits with his car will be fine. Why do we try to make it out to be more than what it really is...I'm not condemning society's view on love, rather..well, i'm bitch slapping it in fact.

Now i'm not saying you can settle down with just anyone, I've tried doesn't work. I've tried to find a girl who could put up with me, who loved me, who whatever...but I've found that in those situations, when most of the weight is being carried by the other, I lose interest. I had a girl who wanted to be my sugar momma, I could be the stay at home dad, it was perfect..except her. So even given the ideal situation, it wasn't what I wanted.

Like I said, I'm picky...maybe too picky, yet not picky enough at the same time. Annoying voices, distance, drama, ill-fated relationships, whatever the case may be I still step up to the plate for them...

I know I can fall in love with anyone at the drop of a hat...but I want it to be real

"I wanna go balls deep in her..i mean know, I wanna go further than balls deep, i wanna go so deep it starts sucking me in like a vortex, breaking my back in half just to get deeper…that's how badly i want to be inside her"

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