Tuesday, November 16, 2010


something's strange..
..and it don't look good

the spot that makes things go away

So I am coming to terms that I have yet another curse, if you're unfamiliar with any of my other curses, well...damn, I haven't wrote about them..that would have been the most opportune time to insert a link all up in your face about it...ok you got me.

This time the curse involves a little device called, my iphone. The problem area: the fourth position down on my "favorites" call list. I know it sounds absolutely absurd, but, whenever I add a name to that spot, shortly there after that person is removed from my life.

It ranges from such extremes as deaths, to breakups, to someone not having time for me...but whatever the case may be, as quickly as they are put into that slot, they are removed just as well.

It's happened so often now that, when I feel as if someone's number is worthy enough to go into my "favorites" section I hesitate, come up with reasons as to why they are not "special" enough to go onto that stupid page...just because I now fear for the worst.

obviously is someone is going onto my favorites page, or is up for consideration of such a prestigious honor, it's because i talk to them a lot...and if i'm talking to them a lot, then that signifies there's an established relationship, a connection, something that makes them standout from the rest....it's like being top five of your class..ohhh the wonders of being in my bubble.

but with this slot now cursed, i do not want to put that relationship into jeopardy just because for the convenience of having their number in that spot. But over time, by popular demand, getting enough signatures on petitions, passing through both the house and senate all with a majority approval, the earlier vetoes and roadblocks are overcome and that number gets a spot onto my favorites page..the fourth slot.

Why don't i just add someone I don't talk to onto spot number four and keep them there, thus saving all future numbers by sacrificing some random loner number....that'd be like trying to pass off a prostitue as a virgin to the gods, they know better and the wrath that would be endured is unimaginable..we're talking fire and brimstone here people! it's written somewhere in the scriptures...look it up!

What about if i were to put my own number in slot4?! oh god...that'd be like crossing the streams...and crossing the streams is bad...like all life as I know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in my body exploding at the speed of light. but that's kinda heavy...aren't there other scenarios.... maybe it would put me into shock and Id simply pass out. Or two, the encounter could create a time paradox, the results of which could cause a chain reaction that would unravel the very fabric of the space time continuum, and destroy the entire universe! Granted, that's a worse case scenario. The destruction might in fact be very localized, limited to merely our own galaxy.

So, I don't know what to do, how to handle it for all future applicants...do I get it blessed? exorcised? what?

y'all think i'm crazy, but this is true life...alright fine...i'm crazy

"Cursed are those who create suffering and sin..."

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