Monday, November 22, 2010

What Just Happened?

my apologies..
..and an excuse

it was a good run, but two days off killed my streak

Jolted from a dead sleep it feels as if your head is in a blender as an alarm makes a deafening cry somewhere across the room. you frantically maneuver out of bed in hopes of silencing the piercing noise only to be succumbed by pain and find yourself back down as quickly as you had sprung up. A nauseous feeling overwhelms you as your mind spins after impact with the floor. The blades of lights cut across the room shooting out from the blinds and burn your eyes. You lay there in pain for that's all you can do or want to do, wondering what truck ran you over in your sleep. Pain is all you feel, pain is all you see, pain is all you hear, pain is all you can think because pain has now took up residence in your head. You are not experiencing a hangover, this is a migraine, welcome to my world.

My seasonal migraine has settled in for the season like those unwanted house-guests we call family during the holidays. I knew I was about due, but I keep thinking that every new year will be different. That's just hope. My head pain started on Thursday, and as much as I wanted it to go away, it only grew in strength. I do not get headaches throughout the year like most people, or if I do it's not a headache to my standards - probably because of the pain I endure during this period where I want a lobotomy. I call it Hell Week, because it typically last one to two weeks, on-again, off-again; worse than my highschool girlfriend....ok no, she was definitely worse.

I wake up and take my medication, having to take it on an empty stomach to get any results at all. If I'm lucky the pain goes away pretty quickly, but other times it only lessens a degree or two, still lingering. I take my 50/50 chances this morning in order to be functional and get ready for work in which I have to leave in thirty minutes. The problem with taking medication on an empty stomach is it wreaks havoc on your tummy, constantly urging you to feed it...but food will only wear off the effects of the drugs and your back at square one. Having to choose between the pains, I'll take the lesser of the two.

The other issue of taking the medication is the "medicine head" feeling that accompanies the "wellness". Sure I may not have pain, but I do not have thoughts either. I cannot focus. I'm sleepy. Speech stops in mid-sentence. Easy words are lost. Homework is impossible. Blogging is Blaaa. It's not like I'm a walking zombie or in a catatonic stupor; it's just that it feels like there's a huge fog cloud between me and my brain...I'm over here and it's...well, somewhere lost over there.

So that's where I've been the past couple of days. I apologize for disappearing over the weekend, but honestly, all my assignments were turned in late for school, work wore me down physically and mentally, and I couldn't pull it together.

Right now I'm in no pain, but my head feels like it's being compressed in a vice. I'm struggling to type this up but I'm doing so in hopes to fight those demons in my head, taking a stand.

hot flashes and frequent naps...are these common side effects?

"this must be the world's karmatic revenge on to me for being a dick the entire year distributed over a two week period..."

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