Go, no-go for launch..
We have now approached single digits
I have 9 days left of “freedom” before I begin a new chapter in my life, a very new very different chapter in my life. The problem is, it hasn’t hit me yet – Granted, I’m typing it all out and making everyone aware of the time left, so therefore I too am aware…it hasn’t hit me. Yes I know there are nine days left for me to get all my shit together, to see my family one last time, to try and prepare for what is to come.
Am I ready? No, not yet. And the closer I get to my departure time, the more I encounter that I need to take care of, or the more that things start messing up..it’s a problem. I wish it would all come together oh so smoothly, but everything is a process…it will come together, it just needs to run its course I guess.
All this shit piling up all at once and at the last minute doesn’t stress me out, it just angers me. I don’t worry about it because worry would be a waste of my time, effort, and imagination…but I get angry at it because of how it all comes up. I know things will work their course, it’s not a big deal or sweat off of my balls, it will get taken care of…if you start to stress it will only do more harm, physically and mentally.
If you think I’ve been mean to you because I’m “stressing out”, it’s not because I’m stressing out, it’s because you deserve it…and just like how the world threw all that shit at me to break my back, you’re failed attempts at being a good person to me broke as well.
Here’s one of my BIGGEST concerns..I told people 160 days ago that I was leaving..yeah, 160 if not more. You’d be surprised by the staggering number of people who have made, or not made, arrangements with me. They like to push it off to the last minute, you know, when all my shit is hitting the fan and I’m trying to get the fuck out of Dodge..
These are the same people who “want to see me” so badly…yet, I must cater to their needs and find them?! They can’t make the time for me, to come and see me or hang out for lunch, yet, they can check into a bar every night on facebook with their other friends? That type of shit pisses me off. NO I will not come to you, NO I will not make the arrangements with you..I’M the one leaving, if you care, you would have seen me by now. To those arrogant sons of bitches I say GFY.
I hope to god they don’t have the balls to show up to my going away party that I put together, stress on the I because even my closest friends couldn’t organize their daily routines.
Other than that, just random bullshit...I've got so much to say, so little time to do so...but I need to keep writing..I can't not write while I'm at "camp" - Need to keep going strong with this...oh my god, I leave in nine days....Holy God. This is going to change my life in a zillion different ways. I must be nuts.
What stresses me out is my room being irregular.
"When it rains it pours, and since it's winter it's an ice-storm...Icepoclypse indeed.."