Saturday, July 09, 2011

3 5imple Rules

if you wanna be my lover..
don't get with my friends..

That'd make you a slut....

It's really a simple concept - just as everyone has heard of the "Golden Rule" (do unto others as you would like done to you) I have a very similar protocol for girls who date me. This is where it gets tricky..instead of one rule, I have three rules...oh nooooo too many!

Now, before I even get started I'm sure many of you are already questioning why I have "rules" - as if I'm some sort of controlling misogynistic asshole..well, that's only partially true, mainly the latter. Again, these are just basic rules that I would like my counterpart to abide by in hopes of keeping the unity of the relationship.

First Rule: In a biblical fashion, love me and only me. I'm not saying you cannot love your parents, family, friends, etc...I'm saying, there is one true god, err love, and at that moment in time I will be it. I'm not playing this "I still have feelings for" or "well I don't know who I love" caught in-between some bullshit and some love me, plain and simple.

Rule Two: Do not lie to me, always tell me the truth, and just communicate. All too often we build up relationships on the rocky foundations of lies and misleadings. Other times we fester up what's really bothering us on the inside and never discuss it with our partner, which leads to pent up anger and aggression, and in some cases, acting out - whether it be in some sort of physicality or wrong-doing/cheating/etc. Talking things out works, it's just rarely done. Getting an understanding of where each is coming from, how they are interpreting information and the relationship altogether, just getting inside the other's head via their own openess and portal made just for you.

It's easier said than done, but it really works...I've never dated a mind-reader nor have I claimed to have ever been one - all knowing maybe, but reading people's minds, that's crazy. You can only see things from their perspective if they are open and talk's a two-way street though keep in mind, you can't hold not be too afraid to approach your partner with a topic as well. This is probably one of the most difficult things to overcome...but once the communication barrier comes down and more and more open conversations are happening, this will be a lot easier, and eventually no topic will be cumbersome to approach.

The Third, and probably most important rule: Do NOT allow yourself to be in a situation that would jeopardize our relationship. The short version, and very ambiguous title, would be; Don't be stupid. This is the very fine line I draw that people say may be considered controlling..I consider it precautionary.

It is a very broad, generalized rule...but consider it like Article 134: The General Article. It's an article of the Marine Corps Laws we have to abide by that states even though whatever you did wasn't covered in the many other articles, it's still not cool and you're gonna get punished for it...Granted my rule isn't that harsh, I suppose it's along similar guidelines.

Just don't be stupid, don't get yourself involved in a situation that would make me question your integrity, your commitment, your value of me to you. For example, I once dated a girl who, one random night at college went out with her friends - no big deal..she drank and got drunk - again no big deal....she ended up staying the night, falling asleep at a frat house - problem.

And so my issue is not that I do not trust her, but of course I will use the complete opposite and cliche argument it's those around I do not trust. for whatever reason that argument is hated on by the female community - no ladies it's not just something we say because we don't trust's literally because we do not trust the other men..because we are men! I think it's completely stupid and haphazard to drink to the point of passing out and deciding to stay at a frat house...the drinks you had were probably spiked with something anyways, and once you pass out in a house of men that are known for being shitheads, lord only knows what's going to happen during lights out....of course we've heard the stories and seen some of the videos..but then again, it's not rape if you don't know...

Other no-brainer, well what i consider to be no-brainer, situations....don't go out on a date with your ex...especially when he has already made it clear he wants you back...don't get into a hot tub with a bunch of guys - i don't care if your best friend jumped in she's probably the slutty one anyways. Only bad things happen in hot tubs...they should call them baby-makers...or vats of vial bodily fluids...(again found at frat houses, lol) And another thing..nothing good happens after 2am . I know this to be true because I've spent many a night out after a Barney like fashion (of course I would say good things happen after that hour..but it all depends on which side of the ball you're playing).

Am I uncomfortable with my girlfriend heading out after 2am to hang out with a friend - yes - if she is accompanied by a girl I am still weary, mainly for her safety because again, bad things and bad people come out at those hours. Should she be escorted by the male of the species...little red flags go up. I don't care friend or not, I do not know what is sooo imperative that needs to be addressed after 2am...unless your friend is having a mental breakdown, contemplating suicide, or had a family member pass away..really nothing can rationalize why you're going out..or why he's asking you to go out...((especially if you've already made claim to be really tired three hours prior and have yet another long day ahead of you..speaking from experience? Nahhhh))

***and I'm not getting into guys that are friends/guys want more than friendship blog..some other time..if any***

I know people hang out and do random things at random hours...but if something swims like a fish, smells like a fish, and looks like a's said to have the characteristics of being fishy...I'm just saying these are some of the things that would make me question the legitimacy of the relationship on your end. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt, I believe everyone until proven otherwise, I expect them to tell me the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth..I expect them should they ever find themselves in a relationship with me that I take it seriously, that if I have made a commitment to them I'd expect the same in return...if I make the leap and say I love you, I mean it, and I love only you..and I would not do anything to make you question that..

I wouldn't sleep in another woman's bed (unless she wasn't there), I wouldn't think about another person in any way that I think about you, I'd want you to trust me like I trust you, but I wouldn't push your limits and boundaries..I'd want to make the relationship comfortable..I'd want there to be no question of

To whomever said "it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission" obviously was the person who fucked up...

"No one has ever loved anyone, the way everyone wants to be loved."

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