It's funny how while on my way to taking the trash to the dumpster i'd come across another soul in distress. Walking by a girl sitting on the curb, burying her head while holding a phone I can barely make out the conversation over the sobs with every breath she takes. There's anger in her voice..she always feels let down..she's a whirlwind of emotions and I fear that my scene will be coming up in the next twenty minutes.
it's a scene that occurs all too often, no matter where i've gone certain results are always the same. I've learned that if you see someone stationary and it looks like they are holding a phone, leave them alone…the conversation going on is not one you'd want to interrupt. It's weird but it's true, when people break down, they'll come to a stop in order to do so. Occasionally you'll get the person who is so in rage with whatever is going on via the tele that they stand up, shout, and use gestures…always with the gestures, mainly pointing…what they are pointing at or whom i still don't know - of course those are extreme cases, and it's usually fueled by anger rather than sorrow..because when your world collapses, so do your legs.
I'm back in my room before i know it - angry i accidentally napped, restless now that i did, trying to find food not really because i'm hungry but because i'm dreading a phone call. There aren't many times in life i've ever been speechless..i always have something to say - granted probability points to me saying something assholey, it's not always the case - but right now i feel as if i'm running out of things to say, only because at the fear of becoming a broken record, i've said them all before. even as i sit here in front of my computer, i'm left with nothing to type…guess it's not that important.