Friday, November 11, 2011

Why Does God Hate Me So..


yeah, that's what i got

I started to write this 3 hours ago....that was before i started drinking and before i started getting texts and phone calls...ugh...i was hoping to make this like a four part series, but now...i got nothing

i feel bla now and i am horrible with the keys, not alicia..wait, yes, in fact maybe yes...alicia keys, is that her name..ugh, my witty remarks are falling on blind eyes right now. I quit the daily booth's something i have been toying with my head, in fact i told..i can't come up with a good name to call her right now...british girl? she was mad at the idea, but whatever, i'm over's cause nothing but harm...just like that infernal time machine!

i don't know what it is, or what's going on..i'm tired of not being good enough..yet in the same breath all these bitches will say "you're so great"..really? if i was great things would be different...i'm great, but not great enough apparently.

how do i cause all this stress?!

don't fucking tell me it's not me it's you...i've heard that way too much in the past month to believe otherwise. obviously there is something wrong with me..i should have learned from...*shifts eyes left shifts eyes right* miiiiindy that i wasn't good enough, that i was good but not good enough. that i somehow had the excellence of picking the "best" times ever to enter into a girl's life...

i apparently will continue to be an erased chapter out of everyone's fucking life.....oh shit, there's that word again...fuck....i guess if i use that word, fucking, every other word it means i am not of sound mind to hold an actual conversation with because i am either being defensive or angry or something..fuck.

i'm sorry i follow my emotions and my heart..i'm sorry i was made this way...i think i cried more about tonight than i ever did that slut whatsherfuck..i'm ot really really good with names tonight, please forgive me..i spend enough time on the delete key, so give me that.

i just don't get things....if i like you, and you like me..what's stopping us from being together...

god is great and i am not...i'm not trying to steal your thunder, i'm just doing my thing, don't hate me for it...afterall, you made me this way.

well...i'm at the point where i want to break everything in sight, so i should just go to bed...way to go 11/11/11, you've definitely been memorable..

"43 q4 e r r ggggg"

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