Sunday, December 11, 2011

Good Mourning

but the brittish..

that changes the whole meaning of the word...

I feel as if the nail in the coffin just came slamming down..after feeling like I was hanging on by a thread..slowly but surely being removed from every aspect of the social media world..I hung onto one..thinking maybe, just maybe today would be a new day..that emotions would have settled down, that there would be some time for redemption..something. I awoke and saw i was still in the "green" so to speak..clinging on to that fact, clinging on to hope..

every bit of removal and blocking from those sites breaks me down more and more...this feeling takes me back to my childhood when I was thrown in the water. I panic. I struggle. I try to fight it off but nothing is making sense. Sheer terror runs through my's what takes place when oxygen is low I'm assuming. I kick my legs, flail my arms, fighting to stay above water..I'm gasping for air..I'm drowning..and there's nobody around who wants to save me

my mind is running a mile a minute, but i can't think about this or that, i can't think about hope or saving myself, the only thing i know is fear..

then I see that grey question mark and I start to sink..

"pending contact request..."

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