Wednesday, January 18, 2012



it's all a matter of perception...

I had just woken from a mid-day slumber in my car, one of the joys of getting a two hour lunch break is it doesn't take me two hours to eat. I normally go for food first then a nap only because the timing of lunch varies so much, and of course I want to get as much sleep as I can squeeze in...but today was different, still fighting with this cold and everything else this week I felt tiresome and when the time came, I changed plans and napped first.

It actually worked out pretty in that I awoke before my alarms went off, I love when that happens. So I headed to the chow hall to begin my day, again. Feeling a little bit recharged and out of the office I had some me time to go over things in my head - a dangerous game any time. I tend to always get food from the mainline but I saw they were serving up chicken Caesar salads in one of the side lines and happily found myself in line there.

While waiting I started mapping out my feelings, recent feelings that had found their way well above the surface. I wasn't paying much attention to where my thoughts were taking me, just letting them spill over and I was hanging on for the ride. When the lunch lady handed me my plate I quickly saw the black olives tossed about my lunch, guess I wasn't paying attention to that either.

Once seated I decided right there to take a stand for myself, for my feelings for once. It wasn't an ultimatum, though when people make demands it is easily confused with such. Rather it was just the reality of the situation, me taking the responsible role and trying to do what was right. Of course this all sounded good in my head.

The day went on and the plan seemed solid. Later I went home and ran into my landlord who just so happened to have some mail for me. He handed me a package apologizing for opening it saying how he thought it was his. I told him it wasn't a big deal and was excited to see what I got, mail is always exciting. We sat and talked and right before we departed he proceeded to say, "yeah, it's a book...didn't want to ruin the surprise."

Soon there after the time finally came, time to put the plan to action.....or so I thought.

Isn't it funny how things are different when they are finally presented. How we can go from wanting one thing, to wanting the opposite in a blink. How everything you planned for is suddenly out the window. How you think you got it all figured out, like that giftbox, but when you open it up, BAM, something entirely different.

When the time actually comes you tend to lose your mind, just like losing your place in a book page...everything's a this...

"what's in the box!?"

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