Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Heart & Seoul

Doctor said I'll be alright,
but I'm feeling blue

This is about the time where I'd say something horribly mean (provoked of course...) that I really didn't mean, but said in an attempt of making me hate you..hate you like you apparently hate me…hurt you like you're hurting me…

For some reason, it's not happening…

As soon as I start to curse your name, get mad, want to break something or whatever..as soon as the adrenaline starts to flow, it dissipates just as quickly…the moment is over, and I'm just left as an emotional mess. The words are never formed, the hate I try to create froths never to a boil…

i just can't do it.

I can curse other people, other people around you, but you..I'll get mad, irritated, but my lack of understanding hinders me from going any further with those emotions…even when you 'tactfully' use such demeaning phrases, all it does is break my heart more and that's it…

i'm left with nothing.

So instead of fighting it, fighting you, throwing a fit, a phone, or drinking myself into a coma..i'm just going to sit here..and probably write…(not going to lie, the drinking will come into effect sometime I can almost guarantee that)..but in the mean time, I'll just write about the wrongs and hurt I'm suffering..so for my avid readers who hate when I get super emotional and rant on and on about sappy crap, this is your time to tune out…our regularly scheduled program will air again next season..which is, as always, TBD.

but i'll continue.

my posts will just be me pleading my case, as I'm programmed to do..fight and plead, it's all i've ever known how or what to do. I'll shoot holes through any of your 'logic' and arguments, i'll expose everything, the truth, the madness of the situation, everything.

loving, hating.

but it's alright..i mean you'll just end up trying to quickly replace me anyways..trying to fill the void that my forced absence leaves behind. you'll trade the fun and sporty, always sexy me in for a Honda..because it was right there..and anything is more reliable than me.


"Tiffany's is timeless, diamonds are forever…the Jangus is not"

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