Four years ago I lost my best friend to cancer...and as time would circle round again, I'm losing another friend because he is a cancer.
Maybe this time of the year is a bad time for me...like november, but not like november...november is more of a seasonal depression; this is more like bad luck kind of thing. I messed up my ankle last year, which I'm still recovering from, and now I'm dealing with something else that's tearing.
My buddy Gary moved out to cali when I made my trip to get all my stuff out here. It's been a dream of his to move to 'the promised land' - I've never quite been sure exactly what he expected would happen when he moved out here, somehow everything would just fall into his lap, life would work itself out, he'd become a rockstar...I only say these absurd things because, well, that's how he acted.
His first month and some change he did not have a job; however that did not halt his spending. He treated his move out to the coast like a vacation. Living it up, going out, spending money everywhere...except for where it mattered most, rent. He bought wetsuits, body boards, this that and the other...it wasn't until I got back from SF in October that he finally had a job...though the first payment wouldn't come for another month later.
I realized he couldn't live his lavish lifestyle well before he ever did, and he probably still doesn't...so I made adjustments in what I did. I didn't go out as much, wouldn't ask him to tag along, canceled a trip out to Vegas to see Lacey Chabert on her birthday..all because I wanted him to be responsible.
I was hoping this move would be a chance for him to put his big boy pants on, to grow the fuck up, if only just a little bit - heck, I'll be the first to say I don't want to grow up, yet, I can be a responsible adult as well. I was wrong.
He didn't learn any lesson. Even after a conversation I had with him in December about how he should alter his spending - though I wouldn't tell him how to live his life, I just wanted him to be more conscious of his actions. I tried to stress the difference between 'wants' and 'needs'. I stated facts, facts that would drive a normal person insane. Example: though not being able to cover the full amount of rent, he would use his money to pay for private volleyball lessons. Or, to pay for tanning sessions...while living in Southern California...I cannot make this shit up..and the more I say/type it..the more I laugh, yet the angrier I get.
At that time I thought the problems were solved, that my words would be a beacon of light, inspiring...I'm a damn fool. Whether I wanted to believe anything I said made a difference or the fact I wanted it to make a difference so badly I turned an ignorant eye..it didn't matter. Things still happened behind my back, without my knowledge, yet rent in full was never met.
At the beginning of the year I decided a new tactic, I would write on the dry erase board the dollar amount he owed. At the time I want to say it was somewhere around $3700...and growing every month. He was shocked to see the debt so high, and again, I thought my plan had worked..but...well, you know by now.
He still decides to make a trip back home that January - a trip that costs double the amount as one isn't working yet spending money one doesn't have...but after that things pick up, they start to get better..then, April comes. His parents planned a trip out at the beginning of the month, and despite their insistance they he not take any time off that he wouldn't normally have, he takes the entire trip off. Not two weeks later he takes four days off to go to a wedding in Vegas.
Call it coincidence, or random circumstance, but issues arise with management at the complex we are living in. Basically, the guard staff have some vendetta against us, and only ticket those living in our unit for any random thing; yet others can do the same and get away with it. Tensions rise and the owner of the unit feels so bad that she allows us to break the lease if we want to. We're fed up and start looking for new places..somewhere else, somewhere cheaper, more inland, but cutting the costs almost in half. Gary's onboard, in fact he takes time out during the week to go scout out a few places....this is all taking place this week in fact.
I'm thinking everything is going well, not looking forward to moving as I just finally got settled in, but hey, rent is going to be cheaper, and Gary will be able to not only pay that but pay back the debt..alright!
Then Friday, just days after looking at new places mind you, Gary comes home from work about the same time I do and has a smile on his face. He says Restaurant O has hired him - I'm thinking, ok great, that was simple - but the following words don't make sense to me...everything after is a jumbled mess as I try to pick up the pieces of my now blown apart mind...the Restaurant O he mentioned, which I thought he was speaking about the one in SD, rather, was the one in Indy...and he's leaving in a fortnight.
So now with a $5100 debt to me, he's bouncing. Not only that, but I'm going to have to figure out where to live, on my own now..and Cali isn't too conducive for single renters..so instead of half the rent I was paying, I will not be paying twice that amount..oh, and I better figure it out quickly as May is impacting in three days.
I can't go into the details any further as this causing enough eyebrows to raise, but that's the situation I'm in. Stressed from work hounding me about shit I don't care about...stressed about getting my final projects finished for my classes...stressed from the douchebag guards and all the citations we are getting...stressed about my financial situation..as I'm $5100 owed from Gary..and all that has caused me to do is max out my CCs, deplete my savings, kill my credit score that i've worked so hard to get up since my bankruptcy..all because I was covering for some low-life who couldn't wake the fuck up.
I'm still in shock over the whole mess..it comes to me in waves...just how simple it was for him to turn his back on me..to jump at the first chance he could get..how he took advantage of the situation..how he used me...to get out here, and to stay out here for as long as he did..i don't think he will ever realize anything he's done wrong..i'm sure he'll say he's sorry...but i don't think he'll ever understand why.
I'm sorry that this post was so long..obviously is a lot longer than the time spent in Gary making a decision to leave.
"Selfish, ungrateful, incredulous, disrespectful, inconsiderate..."