Tuesday, December 31, 2013

2013 Year



It's that time of the year again, time to look back on all that occurred; the good, the bad, the whatever...Honestly, this may take me a bit of trouble as nothing too monumental seems to be jumping off the top of mind for the year.

January opened up the new year and I was living with Gary in, what really was, our dream spot for Cali.  I remember that first half of the year I struggled to keep my finances afloat because Gary could not keep track of his.  Paying for almost the entirety of the rent and add-ons I was forced to take cut-backs in my personal life...drawing out from my stocks, not taking trips like I had planned to do.

But that didn't stop a man that was nearly five-thousand dollars in debt to me. Paying for tanning (in california), private volleyball lessons, wetsuits, flights, amoung other random activities...His frivolous lifestyle and refusal to grow up, take responsibility, and not live the life for more than 2 minutes would ultimately be our dream's demise.

After consulting with our land lord we decided with all the bad events taking place at the condo - management singling us out for any "violation" they could come up with - we had decided to move out in May.  Gary for once took initiative and went out looking for apartments for us. He viewed some, reported back to me with eager eyes, but within 24 hours the mood would take a 180.  He came back to me telling me he took his old job back, and would be moving back to Indiana.

So all plans were scrapped and I was off to fend for myself.  Coincidence or happen chance played a big part and I was able to find a place to live - a coworker had a master bedroom available, with a garage, in a place close to where I first lived out here.  Everything fell into place, and I moved out mid-May.

Over the summer, I was able to cross off some things from my bucket list.  The San Diego County Fair opened and I was apart of the color detail.  This got me free admission for the day and some vendor vouchers.  So after the ceremony I left to return in the evening, where I would watch The Beach Boys live in concert.  It was a free show, and they still rocked.  It was just a cool experience to see people I grew up listening to and watching on Full House.

Right before that though I did see one of my favorite bands of all time (all time) in a very long day up in Anaheim.  What started in the morning with free tickets to the Angels Vs White Sox game (that I would scam to upgrade for better seats), would later turn into walking across the street to The Rolling Stones concert in the evening.  Of course then and there my luck with scalpers took its first blow.  The night would end with going to some random club and 'partying' with the band.

Other events that happened were two trips to the CG in Beverly Hills, the second to correct the first time's deficiency.  Saw Ashley Simpson perform in Chicago, also saw Kanye in concert in October, Moving Units and Hypercrush in November.

Made an impromptu trip to Indy in October to watch one of my friends from the Region get married.  I had realized I hadn't taken any trips up to that point this year, and I was tired of missing all my friends weddings for whatever lame reason..all that, and the fact I wouldn't be around much longer pushed me to take the trip.

Oh, yeah, I found out in July, confirmed yet not confirmed I would be deploying come next year.  Well, it bounced around, the slots were moved, my position from Afghanistan to Kuwait got jumbled around, and even when we thought everything was settled, we found out that the dates of January/February didn't apply to people going to Kuwait...Our date was in November...before Thanksgiving, before the Michigan/OSU game in Ann Arbor..before any holiday....

So once again, November would come to fuck me; this time, it was known in advanced, like knowing when you would be executed.

These details changed everything for me in 2014.  I used this an excuse to send the girl that was living with me back to where she came from, and I spent the remainder of my time reclusing. (it's a word, I made it up, deal with it)

So once again, for the fifth time in my life, I packed up everything and put it into storage - though since I never unpacked, it was all still sitting in the garage.  The period from September 2012 to May 2013 would be the first time since 2003 that I did not have anything in storage.  Less than a year.

My former bedside companion (I really need to get her a name) helped assist me in the moving process, and road with me all the way out to my grandparents, where I would store my car and say my goodbyes after a few days.  Then it was up to Chicago, though nothing was planned - i.e. movie, sporting event, anything like that - we were going to just be apart of the city.

The time in the city was wonderful - I think it was the longest time I've spent in the city since 2007.  From there it was off to Dallas for a couple days, back to Indy for two more, then over to Cali.

The final days in the states were nothing special.  I spent my time off work finishing the last classes I had, and spent many hours in P'Bread completing my last projects for the class.  In an odd way, it was like 2009/2010 all over again, but I was ok with that.

The vehicle that I thought propelled love, but only set me back was destroyed...as a symbol of something I'm sure, as it happened on your anniversary.

Mid-November the small group of us deployed to Kuwait, which is where I am now and will be for another year or so.  Nothing happens here.  We work every day, luckily me and my counterpart only work 8 hour shifts currently...but, it's like Groundhog's Day...same thing, day in, day out.

We went to The Avenues mall in Kuwait City on Thanksgiving, but haven't been back since, even though we tried to organize a trip on Christmas Day to treat ourselves.  Made two trips to the Embassy, one of those being tonight, New Year's.  It's one of the few places you can drink in this country, since it is a dry country....however that craziness works.

But that was my year. I don't expect much from 2014 either...

"it's not what happened, it's what didn't happen"

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Merry Christmas

wait that's Hawaiian


I was under the impression we were getting the day off, the impression obviously wasn't that impactful on the higher ups....Instead we are the only ones in the office today.  I had hoped to go to the mall, another chance to get off base, a chance to go Xmas shopping for ourselves..but no, none of that either.  

So as I enter the chowhall in my work uniform, my eyes scan the sea of civies...sigh, I should be joining in with the masses, but alas, I have to work.  There's not many open spaces to sit, as half the normal seating area has been sectioned off for cakes, carving displays, and of course, Kuwaity Santa.

I find a table with a few empty spaces and some other service members in uniform too; I pick this table to try and blend in.  (For the record, or desert, ran cammies versus the army light green cammies..yeah, not much to 'blend' in there)

Little did I know, but I sat down right between the two-star Army General and the Army Command Sergeant Major..go me.  I didn't realize this until well into my meal in fact.  At one point during my meal, I saw a group of people taking pictures with a two-star at the opposite end of the table.  I didn't think too much of it, thought it was kinda random and cool to see a two-star in the non-vip section of the chowhall, and continued eating..then I noticed him walking over my way.  My eyes kept in pursuit as I gobbled down some more stuffing.  He made a pass behind me and onto the other side, where he pulled out a chair and sat..where he had been this entire time.  

This mother fucker had been sitting next to me the entire time and I hadn't the slightest clue.  It wasn't too much longer before he sparked conversation with me, asking me where I was from and wishing me a merry christmas as well.  I would have continued, but my meal was finished, exchanged another round of 'merry christmas'es and left, noting the rank of the gentlemen that was sitting on my right.

It's not every day you can say you inadvertently had lunch with the two-star.

"'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the base, not a creature was stirring, except MCC-K"

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

I Concede

No white flag, 
just going to let be...

A post about posts...

After much consideration, I feel as if 'pushing' posts on you, this year, would be wrong.  I do not like the idea of forcing these posts to meet some made up quota.  It would not be right.  That is not the idea behind this blog.

Granted, I have come across some writing exercises that tell you to force a set hour or so each day to post - which I can understand their intent; and I have no qualms with that.  What my argument is against is posting multiple times in one day..posting so many times in way to make up for the days, weeks, and months of lost posts this year.

It would be like a deathbed repentance...as my time grows nearer, I fight fruitlessly in order to 'make things right', only to appease myself really.  Sure I'll look back at this year and wonder "why?".  I'm shamefully shake my head in disappointment at the low number; but rather not the low number itself, but what it represents - my laziness.  

Sure there was a period in the first third of the year i was extremely bogged down with work and school..but what abut the rest...

no excuses, just write.

"I can't promise the future will be any different, but I can promise I'll try"

Monday, December 23, 2013


that feeling..
the feels..

i..just don't like it.

My night started off on what I hoped to be a good sign.  Lately I've been staying up later and later, which results in me waking up later and later..not a good cycle - maybe I wasn't made for 24 hour days...

Anyway, it was shortly before midnight and I called lights out..and actually fell asleep.  Naturally, that was the only good thing going for me.  My dreams played at as if concocted by some alcoholic libation...yet, we know that not to be the case.  Couldn't have been something I ate either, same food..just different results? Nah. So what is it...I awoke sometime before 4 and puzzled that very question.  Christmas..must be Christmas.

Though my dream, while sleeping, was about working at my first job...had nothing to do with Christmas...even my dreams when I was awake; those thoughts and memories that sprung out of the random darkness did not relate to Christmas.  However, I believe it has more than everything to do with it.

Just thinking about past Christmases (Christmasi?), more or less the most recent ones...like how in 2006 I spent it alone at TJs place and drunk dialed my mother.  Or how from 2007 to 2010 I worked a double for both the Eve and Day.  How in 2009 after work I had a special treat in store for me.  How in 2011 I worked til almost midnight on Christmas Eve because shit at work needed to get done so I took the responsibilities from some other guy who had plans to see his family in LA...Also in 2011 I spent it with my bosses family (who was kind enough to invite me over for the night, yet defriended me on facebook sometime this year).  

I keep trying to think what I did last year, 2012..and I cannot for the life of me remember.  I remember work around those times sucked.  I put in more hours in those three work days than I put in on a normal week...early mornings, late evenings...all for no real reason - it was actually to "get ahead of the game"..so, essentially it was work that would be work in the future, but not currently, not during the holidays, especially, right then and now..

But what did I do..who was around...did Gary go back home for the holidays...what the heck happened?  As someone who can remember the most intricate of details, those entire days escape me.

But these dreams, both asleep and awake, were very...moving.  Moving in two very different ways at that.  For whatever reason, these memories were not like normal memories; like, supermemories...memories with super cognitive strength.  The emotions these dreams stirred were intense - and these memories weren't anything powerful on their own normal accord, they weren't like seeing a picture of your first love, or smelling the scent of your grandparents home, the time you almost died in the car accident and now you look differently at certain stretches of highway..no, these were run of the mill, ordinary memories.

Yet today, they instilled something very uncomfortable inside me.

I could not go back to sleep.  I had gotten less than 4 hours, yet here I was, wide awake, being beaten down by random old memories of mopping a floor.  And as my mind went with the flow of the wandering images projected in my head, every now and then I'd be overcome with certain sensation I could not shake.  I wanted to start clawing at my skin in order to make it all go away; but I knew my roommate would not approve.

He was awake too, at least he went to the bathroom shortly after I did.  I don't think he ever went back to sleep judging by the noises come from his side of the room.  Maybe something was in the air tonight that kept us both awake.

Whatever the case may be, I never want experience anything remotely similar to whatever happened tonight ever again.  I feel as if I could live quite comfortably knowing it won't ever occur again, however, something lingering in those memories makes me believe it will come again later.

There was a message, I just didn't care to listen.

"When I die, and everyone who knows me dies, it'll be as if I never existed"

Sunday, December 22, 2013

So This One Time..

I was gonna write..


I woke up on this Sunday feeling good about getting stuff done.  It has been my goal to get on a schedule of sorts to make sense of the days out here.  You see, if you didn't know by now, I work every single day..ever.single.day...that is not a fabrication..I go into work at 1500, and leave somewhere between 2300-2400..not bad hours, in fact I enjoy working that shift because nobody is around in the office, it's quiet..it's just good...but it's every day.

So to combat that, trying to get a routine started, something similar to back home I guess.  Sunday is my catch up day - do laundry, that type of stuff.  I had planned on doing just that, and more (such as blogging ((I have three topics in my head I keep forgetting!))), but that wouldn't be the case.

Of course I get a call from work; we are going to clean out weapons in less than an hour.  This was about the time I was to start my laundry and hop in the shower.  So ultimately I missed lunch, didn't have time to blog, and cleaned a weapon that was already clean..

I did get my laundry done before work, and luckily I had some snacks in my room to hold me over before I was able to go for dinner later..and now here I am.

This wasn't the blog you were supposed to get, but it's the one you're gonna get.

"it's not the post they deserve, it's the post they need"

Friday, December 20, 2013


There's always
two sides...

to a story....

The Embassy wasn't as cracked up as the last post made it seem..well, maybe it was what happened....afterwards.

Everybody was fine, until after we left.  The lines "yo, I'm faded" were uttered as we walked back to the vehicle and the only two sober - because they were underage - were made the drivers.  Two car loads of drunken fools; my vehicle containing the less rowdy and more tame crowd as the other vehicle was all the officers...

We were quiet for most the way, almost ended up in Iraq because we missed our exit...the drunkest two were passed out, except faded man, who kept puking into his hoodie.  It was easy getting past the four checkpoints, though it did get close when the passenger made everyone sit up and look alive, telling faded guy to swallow it...he coughed up and i saw some chunks fly out..not a good moment.

The other guy didn't throw up until we were all the way back and parked, props to him on that...and as for me, i was feeling good.  Went in to finish the last hour of my shift, and headed home..which is where my night went awry...

I'm known for being an asshole, and in that loving characteristic is a quality you either love me or hate me for; telling it like it is.  As much as I do set records straight, fire from the hip, and being brutally honest..I do reserve quite a bit actually.

One sure fire way to get me to that point of no return, alcohol.  Alcohol is a social lubricant, works the same on me as it does any normal human being.  Alcohol helps me bridge that very small gap, where things reserved on the back-burner are pressed up in your face.

Being halfway across the world in an opposite time zone with limited communication abilities still was no match for what needed to be said.  I'll admit, it came out of the blue; something that was glossed over months before..but a heart can only endure so much beating.

It was never my intention for that night, and it's always sad to lose.  It just wasn't me that night.

"we coulda done big things together"


American Soil..
Foreign Beers..

the life in the day of a ....

Yesterday was a much anticipated day.  Though there was no real reason we were receiving the news, we were jut happy to hear it...we were going to the Embassy.  As far as I consider, any trip off base is a good one; whether it be embassy, mall, picking up people from the airport...it's just nice to get off of base.

This marks my second time in the month we've been here for us getting off base - not too shabby if you ask me.  This time, though, I had the unfortunate task of driving out there.  In all honesty, it wasn't too bad...maybe there were more people on the road the other time we went out..maybe it wasn't so bad because I was driving..maybe it wasn't as bad because the trip seemed shorter this time..or maybe it wasn't that bad because the initial shock and fear factor had passed with that first trip.  Whatever the case may be, there were only a couple close calls - mainly because I was following an American driver while I tried to drive like the natives (in a vehicle with shitty brakes).

The Embassy was not all that it was hyped up to be - though we didn't have too high of expectations, it didn't live up to the Oasis others made it out to be...perhaps an off night as suggested by those that frequent it..whatever the case it was American soil which meant one thing, booze.

I was happy to not be limited to only beer or wine, as they did have some liquor to choose from.  My evening started with a Captain & Coke, but switched to beer only because that was what was being bought for us; that and I ran out of KD (they didn't accept plastic).

We spent a few hours there, downed more than a few beverages, socialized, and we were home just in time for my shift to end...

"Sorry guys, game over..."

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Feminists are WHOREBLE



I hate a variety of things.  Some may say a lot of things, some may call me grumpy; whatever..I'm intelligent so a lot of shit pisses me off - ignorance is bliss.  I hate soccer, I hate vegans, but above all that, I hate feminists...

I'm sorry, let me get you to where I am...my blood is boiling over a review I just found and read on my Facebook feed.  It's from that extremely feminist website jezebel...which I had spent my entire life happy not knowing of its existence..so i read unknowing what I had got myself into.  Sure I saw the title "I Rewatched Love Actually and Am Here to Ruin It for All of You", and I thought they had something funny to say, or maybe they would pick at some minor flaws that I hoped to agree with (fucking Karl)...but no, this monstrosity of a review went over every plot, every character and just ripped it to feminist shreds.  

It is obvious the author has never been in love, knows what love is, and probably never was loved as a child, thus forming these anti-male feelings because she has daddy issues.  As much as it pained me, I read the entire, overly wordy/lengthy article, and only grew more and more hatred for this lady.

Who the fuck does she think she is?!  At first I had to double check the website as I thought it was a spoof site, like the Onion...but no, I was not being trolled, this was real life, these were someone's horrid views.  Mein Kampf was less disturbing of a read than this Feminist Centipede...

I love conspiracy theories, and pulling random shit of of books, movies, etc - I thank my highschool English teacher for allowing myself to get in touch with my inner troll...but this fucking article....this shit on my computer screen was by far the worst thing I've ever seen.

And it got me so riled up I started to say nonsensical that, I do not regret still.  I'll reiterate for you.  It's people who think like this that need to be eradicated from the Earth.  These, not even glorified to be called humans, are what kill a society; neglect it to grow, refuse it to evolve.  They are the ones that perpetuate this self-instilled hatred towards certain things.  These are psychopaths with appalling agendas that only do more harm than good.

These are the people we need to remove from society.  People that prolong this type of criticism are doing so to stay in business, to add fuel to the already burning fire...these ladles need to be removed.  My original comments were not so..nice, they were more along the lines of "it's bitches like this that need to die. I repeat, I do not regret saying these things...If the author was on fire and I had water, I'd skull fuck the remains and piss on the ashes....hell, I probably would have thrown gasoline on her as well...bitches like this are the worst thing in the world...she needs to die, people like her need to die.i would serve a life sentence for the things i would do to this bitch...and i'd be ok with it"

I still do not regret saying those things...and all the other things I rambled off while seeing red...it's only been minutes after all that commotion so it's a little hard to type when my fists are clenching so tightly.

Women like that deserve the title cunt...women like that deserve to die. I'm too angry to type now...I've worked myself into a tizzy...

The article, if you want to see what I'm talking about:

Friday, December 13, 2013

Damn, Blog


damn damn

I had a rant while I wa sat work, and now, I've got a blank...hmmmm.  Well, this is how bored I've gotten..to blogging while at work.   That's write, your tax dollars are hard at work.  Actually, this is good.  I'm able to do things like this, that I need.  So instead of some lame ass AA or chaplain talks and any other weird shit the military would fund..I've got this..so it works.

Moved into our rooms finally, and at first I thought it was a blessing, now, looking back on things I'm not so sure...as I awoke this morning at 10am.  Maybe my body is trying to catch up from the past 3 weeks of bullshit.

I work what i like to call the night shift, but they call it the midshift..whatever, my counterpart works from 7-15, and i work from 15-2300...well, actually 2400/0000/midnight..I work the extra hour because around 2000 I send one of the two embarkers to the gym (home) because they work 12 hour shifts and that's just stupid to me.  So every other day one they get to leave early...I have this luxury because my new promotion makes me the highest ranking person in the office after 1800, so they listen....bringing common sense to the military..I won't make it very far

So yeah, I just bite the bullet and stay for an extra hour to ensure two people are in the office at any given time...the poor shift that follows, midnight to noon does not have this opportunity.

Also trying to work out something where we can get a day off.  Say the first Sunday I work a split shift and my counterpart has off..the next Sunday the roles are reversed...just because the days are already blending together...it's not even been a month, and I know we haven't done any grueling labor...but every.single.day...man, that shit takes its toll on you.

This month of December will be in your face with bullshit posts just to get the numbers up..also dust off my fingers and make them work again, I apologize in advance for what is to come.

It may not be the best of times, but winds are blowing.

"wake me up, when september ends?"

Monday, December 09, 2013

Posty Posty



With all this extra time on my hands I really should be writing/posting....instead of watching and critiquing Snakes on a Plane.  Seriously though, I haven't slept much due to this time change..and as soon as I do pass out, I'm awoken by everybody's alarms going off over and over for the morning shift...then they wake up and start talking with that absolutely hideous southern accent..

If I wanted to listen to someone talk with shit in their mouths, I would just talk to....a dog.

God, it's like the proverbial nails on a chalkboard in my mind...shiver.  The slack-jawed yokels I work with..Idiots that get promoted with lower cutting scores than one should get promoted with...and here I am, squeaking by to the next rank with a cutting score that would get me to 2 ranks higher in their job...fuck.

Anyway..I've got a lot of catching up to do if I wish to not make this the least productive year for writing ever...

Ok, this is simple..it's just me mashing my fingers on the keys in a rhythmic fashion...I can do this..I can double time this shit..I'm recovering from a back injury, so I'm bed-ridden for a minute - no gym, and only work and eating..I can do this..

prepare your browsers, the double posts are coming...

"If I have one ragret in life, it's that i did not go see Snakes on a Plane in the theater"